I have complained quite a bit that my hockey team does not play consistently, but that is no longer true. After 7 consecutive losses, they are consistently terrible! I felt the barest flicker of hope during last night’s game against the Ottawa Senators, but in the end, the Lightning managed to lose in overtime after giving up a 2-point lead. So from now on, the following template shall suffice for my coverage of Lightning hockey games:
“Last night the Lightning played [fill in opponent hockey team’s name here], and the Lightning lost miserably with a score of [fill in score here]. The Lightning lost because [fill in embarrassing gaffes, slip-ups, and various other gawky blunders the Lightning managed to pull off during the game]. The opposing team jeeringly pointed and laughed as they exited the ice, and I am [fill in expletive of choice] weary of my team losing.”
There! What a time-saver!
Tomorrow I begin my new job, and no doubt within a week, I’ll be experiencing that familiar, sinking “I’m-surrounded-by-idiots” sensation, but at least for the first day, everything is new and…well, I was going to say exciting, but let’s face it, if work was so exciting, would they have to pay me to be there?
I really need to expose the kids to another hockey team, or else they will grow up thinking that the strategy of hockey is to splay oneself on the ice, to lose your stick, to pass to the other team, to blindly shoot the puck into empty space, and to delight in scoring less goals than the other team. No responsible parental figure would allow that, eh?