After Dove’s beautiful visit with us 2 weeks ago, that the kids thoroughly enjoyed, that Dove smiled and laughed through like she was thrilled to finally be with her daddy, and that brought such a sense of hope and peace to our home…well, the only thing that makes sense after that is for someone to deny her from spending time with her father at all, right?


Okay, just checking, because it wasn’t making any rational damn sense to me either. I thought maybe you could fill me in on something glaring that I was completely missing. No, actually, I don’t think I’m missing it at all. What the kids want and need is trampled on again for no good reason, crumpled up and tossed carelessly aside like a piece of trash. It must make sense to somebody, and I certainly wish they would explain it, because all I am seeing is the kids being perversely stepped on.



About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in custody, denying visitation, kids, senseless crap. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Senseless

  1. furiousBall says:

    Oh that kills me. Here I am trying to do everything to have my kids in my life and someone does this?

  2. Smirking Cat says:

    Not sure I was completely clear that Gary and I are NOT the ones interfering with visitation here. We were excited to see her again this weekend, and I know the other kids were too, because everyone had such a great time the other weekend. The kids’ mother decided Dove doesn’t need to come this weekend. She will have to explain why. I’m sick of pretending this shit isn’t happening.

  3. Oy…….. fortunately, that’s never been an issue for me. Nothing angers me more than people who put themselves ahead of their kids. The only thing you can do is keep your head up and not stoop to her level. It maybe very hard at times, but SOME DAY, Dove will be old enough to see for herself EXACTLY what is/has been going on.

  4. Stephanie says:

    Is there not a visitation schedule in place that says how visitation is handled? Does the BM in this situation just get to dictate? I feel a Contempt Motion or something coming on… I hate manipulation… HATE it.

  5. Yes, the only thing that’s saved us in our battles with the ex is the court document, which states exactly which days we have the kids, and for how long. If that’s not in place already, now is the time to make it happen. Just my two cents…I’m so sorry this is happening to you, babe. =(

  6. clevergirl says:

    It sounds like her mother wanted to show your husband what he was missing, then take it away.Just a demonstration of the “control” she thinks she has over himPower issues. I hate that.

  7. Smirking Cat says:

    It’s all so childish and silly and selfish. I’m fed up with “what’s best for the kids” being a cover-up for what is best for someone’s inflated ego and ridiculous games, while the kids are cast aside. I don’t understand, and never will, hurting the kids to get what you want.

  8. zarlyng says:

    I have the same question as Steph; is there a custody stip in place? And yes, when you deny a child visitation with a parent, it becomes about you, not about them. z

  9. Smirking Cat says:

    Yes, there’s a temporary custody order in place. Working on that, believe me. And I agree that playing games like this takes the focus off the kids, where it should be. Where it never seems to be, however.

  10. Little Wren says:

    That’s heartbreaking. We’ve been there, and we continue to deal with games like this. It never gets easier. Small comfort (?): judges do not look favorably on any parent who denies visitation.

  11. Document, Document, Document!!!Keep track of what days who went where at what time with whom… Judges like to have specifics. It doesn’t have to be a drawn out journal entry but just a matter of fact documentation of which days BM did what (or didn’t do) with details.Best advice I can give. Document.

  12. Feminist Gal says:

    ugh, so sorry you are dealing with this 😦 I agree with clevergirl, it sounds like a power struggle (from her end) – it seems like she was willing to give up a little control, only for show, and then take it back. Playing games with children’s lives seems very damaging.

  13. Mister-M says:

    It’s always about the control and doing whatever is necessary to get you “engaged.” It’s a sick, twisted way to live life… and they do it no matter what the consequences… even to their own detriment.All we can do is manage it the best we can.~Mister-M<>< HREF="" REL="nofollow">The Psycho Ex-Wife<><>

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