An excellent day…I enjoyed my first day at my new job and genuinely like the co-workers I met today. I even met the CEO, who was friendly and helped out with training. Apparently they’ve been trying to fill my position for a long time, because everyone was extra-friendly to me, and kept saying they were relieved the position had been filled, at last. Guess they held out for the best! (*patting self on back*)
I got to leave a little early, a pleasant surprise, and found 2 happy items waiting for me in the mailbox: a gift card for Sephora, my guilty, girly pleasure; and FINALLY, a letter from Gary’s lawyer. Can’t get into it much here yet, but let’s just say it is something that was a long time coming.
Even during a good day like today, my mind kept turning back to the kids, who could have been protected from all of this so easily. It’s sad…and unfathomable to me…that not everyone wanted to protect them.
Making a Bad Situation Worse
…Even if your separation or divorce will be better for your children in the long run, for the short term, most children feel that things couldn’t be worse. Divorce can shake a child’s confidence that he or she will continue to be loved, cared for and safe, even when the child understands the reasons behind the decision. A custody battle only makes things harder. Most researchers who study the effects of divorce on children believe passionately that using the court to resolve custody issues is a mistake in all but a few cases. It is far better, in their opinion, for parents to negotiate their own parenting agreement, with help from mediators, counselors and lawyers as needed.
No matter how much you may believe that your life would improve if you won and the other parent lost a custody battle, the fact remains that children need both their parents. That means that part of being a good parent after separation or divorce is finding a way to work with the other parent — at least as far as the children are concerned — rather than fighting over custody in court.