We missed the d*mn swine show!

One of the dubious perks of living smack in the epicenter of roughly 500 million square miles of hick towns, with dirt roads, bad accents, cheap liquor stores, and rusty, beat-up pick-up trucks as far as the eye can squint, is the opportunity to partake of sophisticated cultural events like the Swine Show held nearby this past weekend. The entertainment factor of such events is magnified greatly if you can snag a t-shirt to flaunt at your next outing with your big-city siblings who sadly miss out on these swanky things. Sucks to be them sometimes, eh?

Much to our heartbreak and chagrin, Gary and I somehow managed to completely miss the entire Swine Show, with not so much as a glimpse of a crate on the back of a burping pick-up, kicking up dust on the unpaved roads that take you the hell out of here. I spotted the pig-colored and pig-shaped signs heralding the event on my drive home from work on Friday, but apparently swine shows are held in the early morning hours or in the hidden confines of town, behind a barn, or in someone’s kitchen, because we didn’t catch a lick of this much anticipated event. So, no swines, no cool t-shirt, no bragging rights next time I see my globe-trotting brothers.

Alas, life must bravely carry on…

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in hick town, swine show, weekend. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to We missed the d*mn swine show!

  1. SomeOne says:

    Easy there, Smirking Cat! Watch what you say about accents! I love my southern drawl!

  2. Smirking Cat says:

    Yeah, but your accent isn’t because you swapped teeth for Chiclets, or because you’re trying to talk around a softball-sized wad of chewing tobacco!

  3. cleverescape says:

    lol – I grew up in the country too, with similar events in surrounding “cities”. My town never did anything like that, they were too stuck up b/c we had three stoplights, which is two more than everybody else!

  4. “somone’s kitchen”. Too funny.

  5. SomeOne says:

    LOL! Too funny, cleverescape! I may still have all my teeth, but maybe my drawl is attributed to trying to talk while dangling a cigarrette from my lips! NAH!! I was born with my beautiful southern accent, and I’ll cherish it and make sure to overpronouce it always!!!

  6. Stephanie says:

    I’m so bummed for you that you missed it. I was so hoping to live the event vicariously through you…

  7. Michaela says:

    No swine show. Damn.

Don't be shy! Tell me how great I am. Or not. Share your feelings with the group.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s