Marty, Vinny, and the Smirking Cat

My Lighting, R.I.P., have lost 4 of their last games and haven’t glimpsed even a shadow of a win on the horizon since Valentine’s Day against the Flyers. Hopes for being even water boys at the play-offs are dwindling fast. Desperate times call for desperate measures, dear readers: I’m goin’ in. Oh, I haven’t run it by Tortorella just yet, but I’m certain once he sees my fighting team spirit, my drive to win, my flagrant hockey fanaticism, he’ll gladly round up a jersey and those dorky hockey shorts for me.

Well, I can’t ice skate, but I’m sure it’s easier than it looks. And yes, the other hockey players have a slight height advantage on a 5’4″ cat (okay, 5’3″, no short jokes, got it?), but it’s not the size of the cat in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the cat, remember?

I’ll be just the breath of fresh air the team has desperately craved! And once I’m done getting autographs, pinching Marty St. Louis’ cheeks, and asking Vinny Lecavalier why he always has that same semi-dopey non-expression on his face, I swear I’m going to get down to business and do what hockey is all about: hanging out with the goalie! Ooops, no, I mean, winning the game!

Root for me. I’ll be the one in the penalty box.

*photo courtesy of Hockey Cat, a like-minded feline*

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
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5 Responses to Marty, Vinny, and the Smirking Cat

  1. furiousBall says:

    That’s the thing about taking Marty to a carnival, he can’t ride all the rides.

  2. Smirking Cat says:

    Hey! I said no short jokes!

  3. between3boys says:

    I say the shorter the better. I’m only 5’3″ on a good day and since those are few and far between, I’ll risk honesty and say I’m 5’2″.

  4. *disclaimer* this is not a short joke but merely an observation…yes, thats it – observation. 😉 Hell, Marty only has like an inch or two on ya so if you are on his line it can be called the “black cat line” cuz big bangs can come from small packages! Get it? Black CAT line… like the… oh nevermind… I hear the GONG and I see the giant cane thing pulling me off stage LOL And on another subject…this is like the 3rd time I’ve visited today. Does that make me an honorary stalker? *giggle* I have been checking for your hockey commentary. I knew it was just a matter of time. Go get ’em, Hockey Chick! And remember to tell Mike Smith hello from me when you are hanging out with him as your new goalie. I’m simply thrilled to be stuck with Suckqvist now. Gee, thanks. LOL

  5. I would say vertically challenged, how’s that?

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