My Lighting, R.I.P., have lost 4 of their last games and haven’t glimpsed even a shadow of a win on the horizon since Valentine’s Day against the Flyers. Hopes for being even water boys at the play-offs are dwindling fast. Desperate times call for desperate measures, dear readers: I’m goin’ in. Oh, I haven’t run it by Tortorella just yet, but I’m certain once he sees my fighting team spirit, my drive to win, my flagrant hockey fanaticism, he’ll gladly round up a jersey and those dorky hockey shorts for me.
I’ll be just the breath of fresh air the team has desperately craved! And once I’m done getting autographs, pinching Marty St. Louis’ cheeks, and asking Vinny Lecavalier why he always has that same semi-dopey non-expression on his face, I swear I’m going to get down to business and do what hockey is all about: hanging out with the goalie! Ooops, no, I mean, winning the game!
Root for me. I’ll be the one in the penalty box.
*photo courtesy of Hockey Cat, a like-minded feline*