Baby Bonding (and the usual hockey)

I hate when we sleep in later than I had wanted to, but when I woke up initially at 6 AM, I took a bleary look around the dim room and decided I was comfy right where I was, cuddled up under the covers with Gary, and Tweetie snoring at my side. (Yes, my cat snores. Loudly.) Back to sleep…until almost 11! Ack. I never sleep that late. Still, we managed to get a lot done today: grocery shopping, I washed and detailed my car, Gary cleaned out the storage shed, and we still managed to catch some of the Lightning game against the Columbus Blue Jackets this afternoon.

If you’re wondering who won, you haven’t been paying much attention to my past entries about the Lightning. They naturally lost, 5-3, but Marty St. Louis finally got a goal, as did Vinny Lecavalier. Hey, trying to find bright spots here! Hmmm, let’s see, well, Tortorella’s spiffy suit looked dapper…that’s it, sorry, I ran out of good things to say about the Lightning.

Gary’s day with Dove yesterday was great, as I thought it would be. Considering how long they were kept apart (she is over a year and a half old), it’s amazing how quickly and how deeply they have bonded. She calls him “Da-da” and reaches for him easily, like she’s always known him. Her face lights up when she sees him, and she can’t stop laughing when they are dancing to the radio, or playing on the floor, or sharing Daddy-baby conversation. I never doubted their ability or willingness to bond, and it seems more than a little sexist to automatically assume a father would struggle with bonding, yet a mother would not, despite evidence that many mothers do. Family court has never struck me as a rational place, though, and I doubt it will pleasantly surprise me anytime soon. Anyone who has ever seen Gary with the other 3 kids (and who is honest, and who has no ulterior motives, and has a shred of common sense, which eliminates a lot of people) would never have doubted that Dove would bond to him like glue.

The only dark part of the day, as usual, was taking Dove back and then having to leave. Dove reached insistently for her father and of course cannot understand the separation. And again, I am left with the persistent thought that there is a better way to do this.


About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in family court, fathers, hockey, kids, Tampa Bay Lightning. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Baby Bonding (and the usual hockey)

  1. Mrs. H says:

    I had a blast at the Wings’ game today—-and Husband and I were even on TV!Nothing like a good dose of hockey, the smell of ice (the dollar hot dogs and $6 beers) to put you in a great mood! Oh yeah, and Dippin’ Dots—-I love those!

  2. Mister-M says:

    Please… I’m on board with you on this one, too. PEW didn’t do a THING for our first born. I did almost everything the first three weeks as she struggled to get her shit together. #2 wasn’t so bad, but still – it was like she didn’t know what the hell to do.As soon as they were old enough, she found it was easier to “bond” by buying them gifts and plying them with junk food. So now they’re bonded.Grrrr…

  3. Dijea says:

    My cat Turco snores – its not a rarity for a cat to snore. This is the third cat I’ve had to snore. Dallas Stars Rock!

  4. I am so glad that Gary is enjoying his time as the father to his children. It is long over due, and never, ever should have been taken away from him in the first place.I’m gonna ignore all that hockey stuff. ‘Cause I don’t understand any of it. 🙂

  5. Sungold says:

    I definitely needed time to bond the first time around. I’d had a very hard delivery, and my initial reaction was “Holy shit! Who put me in charge?” I was awed by the responsibility, and amazed at my baby, but the bonding took time. So yeah, it’s sexist to assume that bonding is automatic and instantaneous for mothers but not fathers.

  6. Smirking Cat says:

    It’s sexist for both men and women. It trivializes men’s ability to care for children, and it makes women think they should naturally, effortlessly bond with babies or else there’s something wrong with them.

  7. Lydia says:

    OMG, Smirking Cat! You love hockey, makeup, metal, and cats? Weird. I love all those things too! 🙂 Though my hockey team is the Vancouver Canucks (due to the fact that I live in the Pacific NW) and my fave metal is Type O Negative. I’ve linked back to both of your sites on both of my sites! 🙂

  8. Thanks for your comment on my blog, Everybody is falling all over their faces about Sid the Kid. I personally like Ovechkin much better.

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