I just called Gary to make sure the kids arrived safe and sound this morning (I’m stuck at work, bah), and when he finally answered the phone, he was out of breath and barely able to gasp out “Hello?” before having to burst into, “Hey, don’t shoot me there! It will look like I wet my pants!”
Having spent enough time with Gary & Company, I wasn’t fazed at all. I just said, “Ah, you gave them the water guns already?”
So while Gary is racing around the yard apparently looking like he wet his pants, with 3 little ones trailing right behind him like a flock of water-gun-armed baby birds, I have to endure the world’s longest work day before I can go home and give all of them big hugs…followed by tickles, naturally, and bouts of wrestling, including my mandatory yelps of “Don’t snag my nose ring!” The dangers of body piercing you don’t think of at the time, eh?
Sometimes I’m still dazed by the impact the kids have had on my life. When I first met them, I had no idea where things were going, no clue Gary and I would still be together a year and a half later, no concept how they would all crawl into my heart and curl up and make themselves comfy. I find myself saying things like “How fast they grow!” and then stopping and asking, “When did I start saying things like that? Non-single-lady kinds of things?”
After warning one of the kids not to gouge out an eye, remove a limb, crack open a skull like an egg, or sever a major artery, not sure which injury prevention message it was that time, I turned to Gary and asked, “What percentage of my statements since I met the kids include some sort of don’t-hurt-yourself addendum?”
He smiled and said, “Oh, about 85% now.”
It’s involuntary. Part of your brain is signalled to commence mysterious mutations you have no control over once you are in a parenting role.
When I start saying “Just wait until you have kids”, with a knowing, wiser-than-thou head nod, I will know I have gone too far. My mother’s forboding doomdsay semi-curse, “I hope you have kids just like you!” still haunts me (hi, Mom…she is an occasional reader!)
I’m just happy they are with their dad right now, and that I will see them as soon as I (*race at breakneck speed*) get home this evening.