I Have No Musical Taste!

I was diligently slaving away at work this afternoon when it occurred to me: I have no idea what the 50 worst songs ever may be! Fear not; a few clickety-clacks of the keyboard and trusty Google spit out this article to save the day: Run for Your Life! It’s the 50 Worst Songs Ever!

I agree wholeheartedly with many of them. Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” prompts sarcastic, melodramatic performances from my smartass side, and Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” elicits borderline homicidal tendencies from my juvenile delinquent side. Nothing…and I mean nothing…is more irritating or infuriating than the god-awful, grating song, “Barbie Girl”, inflicted upon us by Aqua, who should be severely punished for introducing that nerve-plucking jangle into my life. The Beach Boys’ “Kokomo” is almost as grueling to listen to. I’m holding my hands over my ears just thinking about it.

I honestly really like some of the songs on the list though! I am secure enough in myself to admit I like Uncle Kracker’s “Follow Me”, and “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel (hey…it’s Billy Joel, okay?) I like “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something too.

Come on now…who doesn’t like “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by Wang Chung? Admit it! I see you mouthing the lyrics right now!

Just don’t tell me you actually like Gerardo’s “Rico Suave”…

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
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10 Responses to I Have No Musical Taste!

  1. Sungold says:

    Wang Chung is so bad, they’re good again. Maybe it’s just because it reminds me of parties when I was in college. Goodness, that dates me, doesn’t it!?

  2. furiousBall says:

    I agreed with all of them with the exception of The Doors and SImon and Garfunkle. My guess is this was done by some 20 something year old working in a record store that thinks that Fugazi is more important musically than the Beatles.

  3. Ok, after reading your post and the list, I have the following things to add: 1) Love Billy Joel. 2) Loathe Celine Dion.3) I like that ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ song by Deep Blue Something4) Ok fine, I like that Uncle Kracker song too. *singin* follow me everythang is alllllriiight5) There is not a strong enough word for the level of annoyance that the stupid Barbie Girl song brings me just thinking about it. Just seeing the title makes some hidden jukebox in me noggin start playin “come on Barbie lets go party” — MAKE IT STOP!! Those people should be locked in a room and forced to listen to that crap on a continuous loop for at least 48 hours with no break. Yeah, who is a Barbie girl now, bitches?! 6) New Kids On The Block — hahhaha I remember in the Stanley Cup Playoffs of 1999 when the Stars played the Sabres, our theme song was done by Pantera (rock on!) and the Sabres’ theme song was some puny ass song by NKOTB. Nobody deserves to win the cup if you use that shit as your THEME SONG. HELLO?! (and you didnt think I could work hockey into this, did ya? muhahaha)7) Umm I actually kinda like ‘Two Princes’ by Spin Doctors too. *blush* 8) WTF? I love 4 Non Blondes’ song ‘Whats Up’. Maybe I am the only one?? Hmm. 9) Vanilla Ice Ice Baby is only #5?? C’mon now.10) Ahhh ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ aka ‘The Mullet Mating Call’ … what a POS.

  4. Lydia says:

    OMG!! This list is great! I love “I’m Too Sexy!” It’s the dumbest song ever. Did I see on there that Blender put Jim Morrison on its top 40 bad lead singers list? No love for the Lizard King!

  5. Heather says:

    What? You don’t like “Barbie Doll?” I LOVE the sarcasm and satire of that song!Can we please please, pretty please add “Is This Love” by Whitesnake? Not because it’s that bad but just because it’s <> Whitesnake<>?!?

  6. Dijea says:

    I will never like Rico Suave – but there is something fun to laugh at when you see the video. That’s something.

  7. lyndaspix says:

    Definitely going to check out the link tonight when I get home. My hubby and I have diverse tastes in music, with some overlap, but mostly it’s him putting his hands over his ears screaming “LALALALALALALALA” if I put on something that I like. Thanks for turning us on to this site. I think we’ll have a lot of fun!!

  8. kimberlina says:

    simon & garfunkel rocks!! wtf, d00d. those people need some respect. also, um, meatloaf is cheesy awesome. total. awesome. cheese.

  9. Dijea says:

    just so you know, I heard Everybody Wang Chung tonight this morning after dropping the older child off at school. I sang it and thought of you.AAAWWWWW!

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