What I Have Learned

* That love, though depicted in Hallmark-and-poetry fashion as fragile and flowery and soft, can burst forth with the strength of iron when tested or threatened

* That allowing the hatred of others to seep into my skin is failing myself

* That taking responsibility for not only my actions but also my feelings has released dead weight instead of adding more

* That so long as my heart is filled with love, so long as I still care, so long as I am still truthful and giving, then I cannot be dominated or defeated

So many others around me are regretably acting out of anger, bitterness, a cocktail of negative resentment brewed over years, taking swings without thinking who the blows will actually land upon, prioritizing score-keeping instead of what is truly right. And me? I discovered today that even in the midst of this mess, I baby-talk my cats, I wonder what the kids are up to, I hear songs that make me think of them, I smile with memories, I feel Gary’s love every time I talk with him, I pull over to save turtles from the road, and I still, maddeningly, frustratingly, want to help the people who wish nothing but to hurt me. Because I cannot and will not believe that any human being with any semblance of a heart truly wishes to be vindictive and spiteful, truly wants their life to revolve around scoring points or battling or yanking kids back and forth like rag dolls, ignoring the tears at the seams…a life narrowed to trying to make others feel the way they do inside.

There are sunsets, sunrises, laughter, tears, thoughts, wishes, dreams, and so much more that are far more worthy of the time and attention and energy. There are plans, changes, improvements, hopes, things to learn, an endless world of wonder to see and feel and absorb.

If people choose to stay on the same self-destructive path and keep eating their own poison, I am saddened by that. I think it’s time to step off and move on.


About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in kids, love, making the world a better place, self-inspection, wishes. Bookmark the permalink.

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