I Hate…

Lest things get a tad too touchy-feely and tiptoe-through-the-daisies happy over here, I will balance out my “I love…” post with its alter ego, “I hate…”

This has the potential to be a really long list, so let’s begin!

I HATE….

  • Long lines at the grocery store, Walmart…okay, I simply hate to wait, for anything, anywhere, under any circumstances. Patience is not my virtue.
  • Having to argue, plead, and debate with the automated self-checkout line that vehemently insists I have not bagged my last item, despite the fact that I have bagged it, re-bagged it, cussed it out, and slammed it into the damn bag in attempt to convince the Nazi Self-Checkout Robot that I BAGGED THE DAMN ITEM ALREADY.
  • Liars. If you lie to me, please don’t assume I’m as stupid as you are and that I will buy your crap just because you want me to.
  • Cowards (These tend to be the very same people as the Liars.)
  • Paper cuts…why is it I can shrug off broken bones or severed arteries, but a paper cut leaves me gasping in agony and begging for pain killers?
  • Checking my blog comments, and not having any! You wouldn’t want me to cry, would you? Leave a comment already!
  • Cleaning up cat puke. Hey, with 3 cats, it is a tedious part of everyday life. Why is it there can be miles and miles of tile or linoleum all around them, but they will ONLY puke on the carpet?
  • Being forced to listen to swaggering, bragging rap music as loud it can be cranked from the lowered windows of every juiced-up muscle car that bounces by…I’m beyond pleased that you are so proud of your music. Here’s an indulgent pat on your puffed-up back. There, there! Now go turn that shit down.
  • Disney TV. Hannah Montana; those spoiled blonde brat boys who live in a hotel and are apparently cared for exclusively by hotel staff; the 8-year-olds who started bands and broadcast lame music videos as they whine in their “my-voice-hasn’t-changed-yet” high-pitched falsetto voices, about life, love, and other things they know absolutely nothing about; the walking stereotypes and the sugar-coated, nausea-inducing drivel pitched to kids as entertainment…we can, and should, do better than this!
  • Women’s clothing and shoes designers who assume all women buy into the dogma, “If it isn’t painful or uncomfortable, or if it doesn’t pinch, poke, or crack ribs, or if it doesn’t obstruct my ability to breathe, then it isn’t fashionable!” Some of us retain common sense. Please accomodate us. Here’s a concept: if something renders you incapable of walking, then perhaps you shouldn’t willingly place it upon your foot and call it stylish, eh?
  • People who believe I’m driving too slowly and decide that the solution is to ride a quarter inch from my bumper. When the origin of the problem is the line of 20 slow cars in front of me, how does riding my ass help with the situation? It helps me find my brake pedal, certainly, and give you an impromptu heart attack, but short of that entertainment value, really, it’s pretty useless.
  • Roaches! I’d rather share a small room with a family of spiders than be anywhere near even a single roach *shudder*.
  • Cauliflower or brussels sprouts. Yuck. Hey Mom, that little trick I perfected, pretending to cough so I could spit the brussels sprouts into my napkin and then go throw away the napkin…well, I did that a really long time before you caught me. Just comin’ clean.
  • Water. I have no rational explanation for this; I simply can’t stand water or being wet. And water rides? Forget it!

Now for something I don’t hate at all: today is my 200th post! Cake and punch at the Cat’s house!

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
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4 Responses to I Hate…

  1. Dijea says:

    1) I hate not having blog comments too.2) You are lucky your cats choose the carpet, mine puke on the bed in the middle of the night (I have 3 too.

  2. Happy 200th! I, too, hate roaches. They are quite possibly the single most filthy creatures inhabiting the planet. Can we send them ALL to Robonut’s house? 🙂 Hey, I thought it seemed like a good idea and like a two-for-one type o deal. I’m all about efficiency u know hehe I dont like not having comments either. You know, maybe it is because we dazzle people TOO much with wit and charm that they are simply left without words. Yes, I think that is it. 🙂 (yes, I took my meds today hahahaha) Disney TV sucks it. Hard. The water thing fascinates me.

  3. Smirking Cat says:

    Silly Unstable Blogger, you know they would all just MULTIPLY over there! As for the water thing…*shrug*…it’s part of my charm, I guess!Dijea, aren’t 3 cats entertaining? And by “entertaining”, I mean a real pain in the butt sometimes.

  4. Ash says:

    Wow… the 200th post? Congrats! From me and also a meow from Edward. 😛 Take care Lady M…

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