In all the research I have done in attempts to help the kids, or at least place a label on the hurtful and devastating behavior and decisions that keep them involuntarily from their father, I found this article:
It’s the first article I’ve found directed at the offending parent, and it raises this to-the-point question: “Did I act this way before the divorce or separation?”
Maybe some parents did. Maybe they never quite caught on that the birth of a child means your life is about a little person who depends on you now, not about your own ego and spite and wants. But for other parents, if they still have a speck of heart left, it may open their eyes to the damage they are doing, and where that behavior is coming from.
Here’s an example that just may sound exasperatingly familiar:
…an alienating parent will often call the child when the child is with the other parent and ask the child if he or she is okay – sending the child the message that the other parent isn’t up to the task of caring for him or her. But when the other parent was spending time alone with the child before your divorce or separation, did you call the child repeatedly and ask, “Are you okay? Are you sure you’re okay? You’d tell me if you weren’t okay, wouldn’t you?”
I am always left shaking my head and wondering what alienating parents believe they are accomplishing by destroying their children in order to seek revenge and lash out at the other parent. Even more, I am left wondering how they simply don’t care how much of their shrapnel lands in the kids’ hearts.