To the BM: Thank You

One stepmom’s perspective….

Dear BM,

Here are some words I know you do not expect from me: thank you.

Thank you…for testing my love with my lover, your ex. That which you don’t work for, you tend to take for granted. The strain you tossed onto our backs forced us to talk, to hash out our souls, to find ways to keep our relationship about us, and ultimately to discover all the reasons we find each other worth fighting for.

Thank you…for helping me realize my strength. I have now been lied about, accused, insulted, belittled, and harassed, yet I hold my head high because these tests have forced me to find even more strength than I knew I had, and I am proud of myself for recognizing my worth through it all.

Thank you…for pushing me to do better, to learn, to rise above. I push myself to let go of anger, to release bitterness, now that I see what it can do to a person. I push myself to improve, to grow, to love in the face of hate.

Thank you…for making me want to be a better role model for the kids. Things they have said, things they repeat, the tears they have cried in my arms, made me never want to do these things to them, never hurt them, and to show them that not everyone is out to score at their expense.

Thank you…most importantly…for carrying and giving birth to beautiful, miraculous children, who blessed my life and stole my heart. They deserve better. Maybe in time.