“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson
Make a new ending; that is exactly what I want to do.
I’ve made mistakes, Gary has, and so have several others intimately involved in our lives. I don’t believe the goal of life is to avoid mistakes. It is to learn from them, take crucial lessons from them, and grow as a person. Refusing to do so is sheer stupidity. I see enough of that each day, and I don’t care to add to it.
I haven’t been posting much because there is such an intensity to all of my emotions right now, waiting for Gary to come home, waiting to pick up the pieces and reassemble our lives. I know the pieces can’t go back together the way they were, and honestly, I don’t want them to. That structure clearly wasn’t working.
One of the guards told Gary the other day that he is going to miss him. Gary told him, “No offense, but I won’t be back to visit.” I believe Gary just may be the first inmate in history of this jail who receives a going-away party, cake, and balloons, and maybe a few tears on his release day! How typical is it for guards to tell an inmate they don’t want them to leave, or simply, “You don’t belong here”?
Thirty-seven days. Dear god, that sounds so far away.
*Flying Butterfly photo courtesy of PBase artist, Don*