My Jail Poem

At lunch today, I grabbed a sheet of scratch paper and figured I’d surprise Gary with a lame but heartfelt poem:


A Super-Dooper Jail Poem

Hot dogs, bologna, and mush, oh my!
Jail food can make you cry.

Gary’s lost about 30 pounds,
And he makes sad, begging sounds,

If you mention Mountain Dew,
Steak, or burgers, to name a few.

The young punks play all night, sleep all day,
So when Gary would like to hit the hay,

He must wear plugs in his ears.
This zoo can bring a man to tears!

Guards, lockdowns, strip searches, and noise,
Fights, jerks, and contraband toys,

Sagging pants, sagging bunk,
Who can stand this damn jail junk?

Inside or out, jail is hell.
All our cash goes to Paytel.

Three more days, Gary is free at last!
And if his sweetheart doesn’t kick his ass,

They will hold this lesson forever—
Stand strong, tall, proud—together.

Advertisements

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in Gary, humor, jail, love, poem, silly. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to My Jail Poem

  1. Dijea says:

    I so hope you have a big giant porterhouse ready for him when he gets home.

  2. Heidi says:

    You crack me up. Counting down are we? Be here before you know it.

  3. Just Me :) says:

    Love it…I’ve also named you an award winner in my last post 🙂 check it out.

  4. phairhead says:

    very cute and funny

Don't be shy! Tell me how great I am. Or not. Share your feelings with the group.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s