The other night, Gary asked me to read my private blog out loud to him, something we used to do all the time, and something we’ve both missed. I went all the way back to April and found myself choked up, reading my words from a time I didn’t know when I’d be with him again, when I had no idea what was going to happen, when I was scared and hurting with no hint when it would stop. Reading those words with him at my side was a beautiful, bittersweet feeling.
I have never read through any of my blogs, at least that far back, have never seen the progression like I did the other night, reading out loud to Gary. My voice grew stronger as I read my words, and I even said to him, “I thought this would be depressing, but it’s not at all.” Instead I observed through my posts the way we both stood back up, helped each other up, and refused to quit, and for that, I want to write a post to read to Gary later tonight.
Gary, I love you. You are my best friend, my buddy, my sidekick, my shoulder when I need to cry or lean for a while, my partner. We met at such an odd time, a time we both had given up and felt like we’d never find real love. Even as I swore I’d never, ever get into another relationship, I felt drawn to you, like we were supposed to find each other just when we did. I’m glad we did. I’m glad that even then, we opened our hearts and refused to give up.
We’ve been through so much, and instead of wearing us down or pushing us apart, it pulls us closer together. That is something I have never experienced with anyone else, and that is something I am immensely thankful for, this year especially.
I am thankful for you. I am thankful for whatever I did right to lead me to your side. I am thankful to be able to share the beauty of you with the kids, such a pure, adoring love, and I am looking forward to spending tomorrow with you.