No, not for me, silly…for YOU! Instead of the usual fare of “drop some pounds, stop getting loaded every weekend, and save some money instead of blowing it on impulse purchases at Walmart”, I decided to serve up a selection of resolution choices for you to pick and choose as you see fit. Let’s make the world a better place by selecting a few of the following:
1. To stop saying “like” in between every single sentence.
2. To MOVE in the left lane on the highway instead of putzing along at 35 just to see how much patience the driver behind you has today.
3. To never wear a sweater vest again, especially if it’s adorned with snowmen, glitter, Easter bunnies, or Santa Claus. Really. Just say no.
4. To pull your pants up. It was never truly fashionable to display a peek of your undies, and I assure you it’s not a service to society to brandish three inches of your ass crack either. It just makes me want to drop things down there, preferably items of an explosive nature.
5. To take responsibility for yourself. If you’re pushing 40, mooching off your parents, and still whining “It wasn’t meeeeeeeeeeee…” when you do something stupid, then consider yourself soundly slapped and get a life.
6. To adopt a cat. Hey, I love cats. But only consider this one if you are not part of the #5 gene cesspool.
7. To learn something new. Your brain is going to rot on a daily diet of People magazine and the latest fad TV show. The world is a fascinating place full of discoveries.
8. To read Smirking Cat every day! OK, I am not always consistent with updating the blog, but I promise to do better.
9. To wake up every morning wondering what you can do to make the world a better place for someone…the next person you see on the street, the frazzled person at the grocery store, the stressed co-worker, for anyone who could use it.
10. To always, unwaveringly, continuously ask “Why?” Don’t simply accept that which needs to be questioned.
What can you add to this list of resolutions we wish the world would make?