Stepfamily Letter Project

I found The Stepfamily Letter Project blog today, and it is riveting, reading the angry, raw, emotional, honest words mingled with words of thanks, expressions of love and gratitude, all of it painfully close to the heart for many of us.

Dear Stepmom, I love you. But don’t tell my mom. It would hurt her feelings.
Love,
Me

Dear Mom, Thank you for letting me have a relationship with my dad. I know that must have been so hard for you. But you knew how important it was for me to have him in my life. I deeply appreciate that. Especially now that I have my own children. When I think about how I would act if my marriage exploded, I’m quite sure I would probably want to leave the state and never let my kids see their dad again. But you didn’t do that. You suffered ongoing heartache keeping contact with him for me. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have balls, Mom. You sacrificed more than I can imagine. I love you.
Daughter


I am struck by the intensity and ferocity of negative emotions in many of the letters, and I am again left feeling like there is a better way to do this, for everyone. No one benefits from ongoing and ever-deepening hostility and animosity, least of all the kids. It is sad that so many people feel trapped in a situation with anonymous letters as a sole outlet for their feelings, sad that the perpetrators of such negativity are given free rein to destroy the children’s lives.

But it is also beautiful to read the letters from kids, or a letter addressed to all stepmoms, and others who bring hope and light to a seemingly hopeless situation.

I don’t think I need to write a letter expressing my true feelings; I think I’ve made it rather clear that I don’t think highly of anyone who betrays a child’s trust and bastardizes their love, or causes them to suffer needlessly and senselessly. But I have just realized, in reading the letters on this blog, that the only one who may not know exactly how I feel is Gary, who may not know that I regret nothing and will always be grateful that we found each other. We end each day wrapped in each other’s arms, and the more nastiness flung our way, the tighter we hold each other.

I have taken for granted that he knows my feelings and my resolve. I’m glad I found the Stepfamily Letter Project blog today, to remind me that there are some things he would probably appreciate hearing.

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in letters, Stepfamily Letter Project, stepkids, stepmoms. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Stepfamily Letter Project

  1. zombietron says:

    Wow, these letters are depressing to read. My parents are still together and still look at each other like they’re teenagers, they really only have eyes for each other. I can’t even imagine a world where they weren’t together, and if it ever happened, I really don’t think I could cope.Thanks mum and dad for giving me unrealistic expectations of love!I like the letter to stepmoms addressing the fact that they are very courageous – so true, to take on that responsibility that isn’t yours to be with the one you love.I don’t have much to input since I’ve never been in this situation, but it sure is sad to think of all the hurt that is felt by those who are.Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. Mrs M says:

    I wrote a letter to my boys’ birth mum and posted it to this site. It made me really sad when I read it back – I felt no anger or malice towards cruella, just pity for what she had missed out on.

  3. macocha says:

    Will have to check it out and link it to my blog. thanks.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Step-family life was awful for me…..stepfather was a brutal monster!! A pervert who wanted to control everybody!!!!! And being threatened by him ruined my relationship with my mother!! I never knew my real father because he denied my mother to let me have any contact with him. I am 48 years old and I am still hurt by this!!!

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