For the Cat with Everything…

Cat food? Check. Treats in plentiful supply? Check. Toys they shun in favor of batting around my stuff? Check.

If your cats seem to have everything they could possibly need, like mine, think again. Why, there are all sorts of items you can blow several hundred dollars on to keep your feline brat purring!

Try the Cozy Cat Cabana Luxury Cat Bed, for starters (left). Offered by Remmeer.com for $59.95, the product description promises that “Your precious cat can be the sultan of the house in his or her private, yurt-style cabana.”

What more could a spoiled kitty want? Well, perhaps your cat prefers an ornate bed with a touch of whimsy. Tiffany’s Original Gifts offers up this bejeweled, animal-print velvet, wrought-iron bed topped with a crown, perfect for shedding fur all over at only $69.99!

Maybe your kitty fancies him or herself as more human than feline, and would hanker for a bed that looks more like yours than a pet bed. No worries! The Petmate Nap of Luxury bed is just what you need, for $64.99.
Shhh…don’t tell your cat that the Elaborate Scroll Pampered Pet Bed from ChristmasCentral.com is touted for both cats and dogs. For a mere $214, your cat can slumber on this wrought iron bed with matching plush cushion (not shown for some reason). Your cat will likely prefer that any lowly dogs sleep on the floor.

Perhaps your cat is sufficiently spoiled that all of these cat beds are wee more than cardboard boxes lined with newspaper to his or her impeccable taste. In that case, break out the cash and sink $995.95 into the Wowo Pod Cat Furniture Bed:

Touted as a “modern pet bed considered a piece of art”, this cat bed is “more of a recliner than a pet bed, it’s like an Eames chair for your precious little feline friend.” Awww. On sale for a measly $859.95, why deny your cat this small slice of luxury?

I have to wonder if the designers of these lush cat beds ever shared a home with a cat. Mine prefer to sleep on my bed, on my lap, or in my laundry basket, preferably on the clean, folded clothes so they drop fur by the bucketful all over my clean clothes. No luxury cat bed would lure my three furballs to sleep anywhere but where they damn well want to, true to a cat’s headstrong personality.

My cats are spoiled in many ways, and Gary is still incredulous when I carry Tweetie to his breakfast bowl every morning. Ah, he’s a dog person and doesn’t understand. No, a cat won’t come when called, won’t bring a toy back that you threw, and they will look at you like you are babbling total psycho-speak if you issue any commands of any sort in their general direction. But a cat will bestow upon you the high honor of curling up in your lap, purring blissfully, nudging you as you pet him or her, and there is something so incredibly sweet about waking up to a tiny body curled up tight and cuddled close to your side.

Anyway…my cats would prefer I spend my millions on things that really matter, like treats and catnip.