Alas, I am merely 1% stalker, and my results rather rudely wonder, “You aren’t a stalker by any stretch. You don’t even seem to have much of an interest in anything. Do you even have a pulse?”
This is pretty accurate, actually. I am interested in my life and the lives of those I love, and that is truly where it ends. I have learned in my old age what really matters and to dismiss the rest.
This quiz had me laughing out loud, because my lack of interest in cyberstalking as a full-time hobby does not render me unsavory to those with way too much time and Internet access on their hands. If someone I know very well answers these quiz questions truthfully (not likely, by the way, since truthful and stalking tend to not co-exist in the same individual), then she will certainly rank as a first-rate, blue-ribbon overachiever.
Questions like “You have created aliases so you can keep an eye on someone” and “Not only do you obsessively visit someone’s blog, you have set up your own to rebut and let your own voice be heard” may seem absurd to the mentally stable among us, but since I have experienced someone doing just those kinds of things (repeatedly), I had to shake my head and smile. Yes, I know someone who does just this to me. I am apparently so mesmerizing that many usernames, profiles, and aliases are needed to keep up with me and all my shenanigans.
There are as many lame excuses for cyberstalking as there are categories in the American Psychological Associations DSM. Given that I am in the bizarre situation of personally knowing the person who stalks me, I found the quiz to be darkly amusing, but it also made me pause and realize that my situation may not be all that unique after all. Otherwise, there would have been no idea to develop this quiz, no basis for the dead-on questions, and no one to pay attention to it, laugh at it, perhaps flinch at it, or pass it along for relief in a crazy, mixed-up, occasionally creepy, always quite sad situation.