Sylvester, The Vet, and Trickery

Yesterday was finally Sylvester’s turn to be dragged to the vet against his will. I had been dreading this trip because Sylvester, though pushing 3 years old, insists on clinging to perpetual kittenhood, preferably the scatter-brained, wired, semi-insane stage.

Gary stopped at home to see if I needed help herding Sylvester into the carrier. Once his humongous tail was crammed into the carrier, he immediately set to work popping his head through any opening like a Whack-a-Mole while I nearly fainted, trying to push his fool head back into the carrier, scared he was going to choke himself, and in this state of chaos, we set off for the vet.

Sylvester calmed down to angry, “I’m-going-to-get-you-in-your-sleep” glowers by the time we sat in the waiting room. When we were called into the exam room, I warned the vet and the technician that he is a vicious, crazy, blood-thirsty, human-eating killer…

…and Sylvester meekly slinked out of the carrier and into the awaiting arms of the technician, allowing himself to be dangled passively from her arm like a stuffed cat, something that would have gotten my arm shredded to beef jerky if I attempted it at home.

Hmmph. He was a softie the entire time we were with the vet, letting the vet poke, prod, even feel his teeth. I told the vet about a small red mark I had spotted on his chin, but every time I tried to inspect it, Sylvester reeled from me like I had administered a high-voltage shock or prodded him with a cattle iron, stuffing his furball body under the bed until he thought I was long gone or had merely forgotten whatever dastardly torture I had up my sleeve for him.

I warned the vet he wouldn’t let her check out his chin…

…and Sylvester gently lifted his chin and held his head up calmly so the vet could look at his chin.

Whatever magic the vet had worked wore off before I even released him from the carrier. He hopped out, gave me a dirty look, and took off to wrestle Rosie, chase the bed, roll himself up in rugs, and climb the blinds.

I gave him treats despite his trickery at the vet, deceiving everyone into petting his soft fur and cooing “What a good boy!” I know better.

My demon cat weighed in at 12 pounds, which makes Rosie the official heftiest cat in our household! Now, when Gary and the kids point to Sylvester, laugh, and proclaim him “fat, not fluffy”, I can remind them that Rosie outweighs him by nearly 2 pounds of girth.

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
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8 Responses to Sylvester, The Vet, and Trickery

  1. hehe! your funny… but i think that we are alike in that we seem to raise really FAT cats… lol

  2. Dijea says:

    REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. Ignore him – he'll want attention.

  3. Crys says:

    What a little devil! Nasty Cat did the same thing. It was effort and a half to get him into the carrier and when the vet handled him you would have thought they were the best of friends. I wonder if there's a smell they put on them to calm cats down. Or maybe it's the intimidation of the man/woman in the white coat.

  4. Just Me :) says:

    huh, even furbabies act better for others then they do for their parents…must be a kid thing accross the board 🙂

  5. Georgina says:

    How is that cats can mange to make us look like such fools sometimes? LOL

  6. Sungold says:

    Any chance Sylvester is smart and vindictive enough to realize that he could make you look way worse by proving you wrong?

    He's pretty cute, though, when he's not doing that evil glare thing.

    Glad you got home with your epidermis intact.

  7. Ha, one of my dogs is like this about the vet. He just KNOWS when he is going there and he will drag his feet, try and slip his collar, and growl, but as soon as he's in the vets, good as gold….little sod! Pets eh!

  8. ModernMom says:

    Oh my..does this mean my kitten that wrestles with blinds and cords will always wrestle with blinds and cords!

    Cats just like kids, always on their best behaviour for someone else. lol

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