What Would Happen?

Did you know that I am a child abuser, a sexual voyeur, an insatiable slut, a homewrecking whore, a violent criminal, and that I make up words?

Well now, I didn’t either, until these beastly traits were pointed out to me in the forms of false accusations, self-serving fabrications, and sympathy-seeking stories that defy logic or truth. For instance, did you know that the allure of my feminine wiles seduced Gary away from his impenetrable, rock-solid, loving marriage? Imagine my own surprise at being told my sensuous trickery worked its magic from almost 300 miles away, since I wasn’t even living in the same town or even county when Gary’s ex filed for divorce, and I didn’t know either one of them existed yet. Yep, that’s how one version of this fairy tale goes. I didn’t say it was the most rational spin on the tale. It would be merely amusing if it wasn’t the version repeatedly spoon-fed to the children in hopes of turning them against me.

What are the possible, earth-shattering, dire consequences of another supposed adult admitting, even begrudgingly, that I am now a part of the kids’ lives and Gary’s life, and that I am actually (*gasp*) a good person? Let’s see, right off the top of my head, I can think of:

* The kids would finally have the freedom to love who they choose and not be made to feel guilty or wrong for enjoying my company or accepting my love (or their father’s).

* The adults in this situation could work together with more trust and less hostility, leading to better decisions about the kids, preferably based on the kids for a change instead of immature power struggles and maniacal ego-fluffing.

* It is impossible to release anger and bitterness that is petted and fed each and every day. The kids ultimately pay for this, and they deserve to be relieved of this burden. It isn’t theirs to shoulder, and it never was.

Yet, it would also mean:

* Admitting to lies and false accusations that are, frankly, criminal (lying in court and intentional false reports to DCF, just to name a few).

* Admitting to roles played and an equal share of responsibility for the divorce and for the kids’ ongoing pain. Foisting it all alternately onto me or onto Gary is convenient…but a lie.

* Facing the unnecessary pain and damage inflicted on the kids for no good reason whatsoever.

* Taking steps to reverse and attone for the poison dripped into the kids’ head like a steady I.V., each and every day.

* Saying “I’m sorry.” No, not to me. To the kids.

So, am I holding my breath? Sadly, no. The course will likely stay on the same defeating, toxic, downright idiotic path it’s been on for years. Why doesn’t love for the kids prevail with people who are supposed to care for them?

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in emotional immaturity, jealousy, kids, lies, never-ending lies. Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to What Would Happen?

  1. Just Me :) says:

    don’t you love it. According to one account of our story I was the reason all shit hit the fan…ironically enough I was 16 years old enjoying my high school years 2 1/2 hours away. If I was aware of my “powers” I sure would have been using them for something more exciting the wrecking a marriage already destined for the dumpster.

  2. Smirking Cat says:

    It is just one sad, sorry attempt to say “My poor decisions and actions were all someone else's fault, even if I have to lie through my teeth to get you to buy that.” Nice lesson to teach young children.

  3. Smirking Cat says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Heather T says:

    I'm trying to figure out how to spell that sound you make that sounds sort of like frustrated roaring.

    Without the roar, 'arg.'

  5. its so sad… so sad to me that some ppl choose to walk around blind folded to their OWN crap… or maybe they know and don't care… have not figured that one out yet….

  6. Why can't people hold THEMSELVES accountable for their own actions?? Drive me crazy, they could make it so much easier on themselves, their children, their ex, us if they could look in the mirror and really see the person looking back at them. Its like they have told lies for so long they have no idea what is real and was is false. Drives me insane!!!

  7. mean stepmom says:

    I'm sorry – I know that must be frustrating for you and confusing for the kids. The only way I know to combat it is to just love them. Eventually the kids will be wise enough to discern the real truth.

  8. Crys says:

    We have to deal with those sorts of things too now and then when Jane actually feels the effort to make them. And it's sad that people feel they have to do this, because they sure as heck don't. The lies will catch up eventually … whether in court or in the hearts and eyes of the children.

  9. Amy says:

    There are just those people in life who refuse to accept responsibility for their own actions. Whether it's abandoning their kids and accepting responsibility for the consequences of that or having a (sadly) natural occurrence of a relationship falling apart and accepting that life sometimes goes that way. Unfortunately, no matter what the situation or who refuses to accept responsibility or face the facts- it usually is the kids who pay the piper for the adults decisions.

    Shame that some adults can't just stop being so selfish and put the needs of the children above their own petty selfishness.

  10. Dijea says:

    Divorce is rarely a positive experience for anyone and in only one case have I ever seen it be totally civil.

    My aunt 1st husband was the best man at her 2nd wedding. Seriously – but its the only time I've ever seen it and that is because of the incredible person my aunt is.

    The important thing is you and Gary know.

  11. I'm so sorry. We've walked the same path, and luckily The Ex went so far off the deep-end that she sabotaged herself. Things are on the right path now. But it damn near broke us. Hang tough (*cheesy NKOTB dance*).

  12. I'm so sorry to see more children go through this. My SD goes through this, or a variation of it, too, and it breaks my heart to see the effect on her. We have a BM who will never, ever look at her own behaviour and never see that she might actually be the cause of some of the problems. All you can do is keep loving the kids and reassuring them of that. They will make their own minds up in the end x

  13. Smirking Cat says:

    I don't believe that people like this have lied so much they believe their own lies. I believe they lack integrity, maturity, and character to care more about the kids than they do themselves. When the kids are pawns and the source of a monthly check instead of people, the ugliest behavior erupts.

  14. Georgina says:

    I'm so sorry you are being so badly tarred. And I really feel bad for your SKs. It's just not right for them to be used in that way.

  15. Syn says:

    I've been accused of being a homewrecker and child abuser as well. Oh yeah, can't forget thief when I was accused of stealing a young child's pants (she later showed up with them on when she came to her dad's the next time…go figure.) Stealing a pair of black leggings? Sure! What an idiot.

    I also have my husband's manhood…he supposedly handed it to me because he would discuss things with me first before decisions we made with regard to visitation, etc.:) I told her that if she'd known how to handle his manhood to begin with, maybe he'd have been able to put up with her longer! 🙂

    Some people are liars. Some people are just plain stupid. Some people are stupid liars.

  16. FeministGal says:

    hey chica – sorry i haven't visited in a while, but i wanted to write you about something personal. is there an email address on which i can reach you? i couldn't find anything on the blog :/ I remember you had a bit of a stalker problem a while back… i need some advice…

    feel free to email me at feministgal@gmail.com

    thanks so so much!

  17. Mister-M says:

    Ha! Welcome to the club, SC!

  18. Marsha says:

    I think it's just a stepmom given that we must all be labeled homewreckers and lord only knows what. It's part of the label.

  19. Smirking Cat says:

    I don't know if it's a stepmom given, or simply a jealous, mentally unstable bio-mom given.

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