How do we teach the kids integrity and honesty when they witness endless lying as a way of daily life?
How do we teach the kids independence and autonomy when they watch someone each day who willingly abdicated all adult responsibilities years ago so that someone else pays her bills? How do we teach them that that is not being a grown-up, when it has become their norm?
How do we teach the kids that they have their own minds and can make their own choices, when they are told what to think, from religion to sports teams?
How do we teach the kids to enjoy the freedom of childhood when they must be vigilant for the next interrogation, attack, manipulation?
How do we teach the girls especially that they can be strong, when they are given weak role models who hide behind men, who don’t speak for themselves, and can’t accept that a girl is capable of more than rah-rahing from the sidelines in a mini-skirt for the boys? How do we offset females in their lives who chose to sacrifice any mind they possibly possessed so that someone else takes care of everything for them?
How do we teach the kids that a relationship is about mutual respect and caring, when all they have seen is one person endlessly stomping all over someone she used to claim to love, lying out of one side of her mouth and blaming someone else for her many shortcomings through the other?
How do we teach the kids spirituality and how to treat others, when religion has been presented to them as a hollow prop to justify shameful behavior? How do we offset the attitude that treating others like shit and lying every day is okay as long as you bow your head semi-convincingly in church, use the phrase “have a blessed day” ad nauseum, and wear the hypocrite’s mask of godliness to hide your true ugliness?
How do we teach the kids boundaries when they frequently witness someone so rabidly obsessed that she searches me online with the children present, takes pictures of our home with the children watching, and commits other wildly inappropriate behavior?
I could go on…and on. My biggest fear for the kids is that they will be unable to rise above the poor examples they have been given, through no fault of their own.
They deserve better.
*Image courtesy of photobucket.com*