Driving home after the hysterical debacle last night that left the kids crying and scared, Gary and I had a hard time finding words to voice what was in our heads, in our hearts. It was so insane, irrational, senseless. We were worried about the kids and could still hear their cries and see their terrified, confused faces.

In the darkness of the car, Gary suddenly turned to me and asked, “Did you notice we ended up standing beside each other?”

I honestly hadn’t noticed, but now that he mentioned it, I realized he was right. As the shouting and the threats escalated, he and I gravitated toward each other and toward the kids. We ended up standing with our arms around the kids, doing our best to comfort them, and eventually my back was turned to the two shriekers, because my priority was not their meaningless insults, their self-serving tirades, or their hypocritical accusations.

My priority was the crying child in front of me who didn’t understand, who was scared, who didn’t want us to go because he was afraid he would never see us again. My priority was a 6-year-old girl grasping her daddy’s neck as her mother tried to yank her right out of Gary’s arms. My priority was an 11-year-old boy who stood, crying silently, looking stunned, until he reached Gary’s side. My priority was a 3-year-old who had been so excited to show her mother her trimmed hair and her painted nails, yet instead she stood in the middle of a three-ring circus watching people she cared about screaming and being screamed at. My priority was a father hell-bent on being the better person and whispering to the kids “Everything’s okay” even as he was still being shouted at and spit on.

My priority was, in short, my family.

Last night, Gary and I snuggled closer, held each other tighter, and needed to be nearer to each other than we have in a long time. In a way it brought us closer together, and all day at work today I missed him and just wanted to be with him.

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in closer together, kids, love, negative people, strength. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Closer

  1. Amy says:

    Thank goodness the children to have you and Gary to care for them.

    It shows how strong your relationship is that you could draw strength from each other.

    Hope you never have to go thru that again!

  2. And that is precisely why my husband and I decided to get married.

  3. cassee01 says:

    I think you need to start carrying a video camera like Kou did!

  4. Crys says:

    As horrible as the situation was I hope that the kids are able to remember who was there for them in all that unnecessary chaos and remember who it was that made them their priority. I'm also glad that you and Gary were able to find yourself closer out of that mess.

  5. Syn says:

    …and that is a sign of a strong relationship. When the BS doesn't tear you apart but pushes you closer. It's what dh's ex did for us with her years of hate. We could choose to let it destroy us the way she wanted or support each other. The ex lost.

  6. Mister-M says:


    It never ceases to bother me, reading accounts like these. With all of that self-serving, horrendous, offensive behavior – I can never grasp what it is they're truly trying to accomplish that is even remotely meaningful, even in the warped mind of a psycho ex.

    And if Gary was truly spat-upon, that's assault, he should have called the police himself.

    As usual, very sorry for your experiences.


  7. AngryDad says:

    wow, glad to see i'm not the only one dealing with a crazy. something similar happened one time when my new wife did my daughter (5 years old) hair one time. my daughter was sooo proud of it, took her back to her mom, her mom yelled and screamed and started pulling out all the braids right then and there…crazy. love your blog though, i'm new here. i'll add you to my blog roll.

    i've started a blog called “The Ex Wife Survival Guide” a place to make fun of the crazy.look forward to reading more. hope things eventually calm down.

  8. AngryDad says:

    i'd have to agree with mister-m, what is it that they want by going through all of that? its self-centeredness at it's worst.

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