An accurate and continually tiresome barometer of the level of bad-mouthing to which the kids are being subjected is the type of off-the-wall questions we are asked by the kids. They are the kind of questions that would leave Gary and I wondering “Where on earth did that come from?” if we hadn’t been spectators to this circus of insanity for several years and already know exactly where it came from.
Apparently Gary and I are still constant topics of conversation for some wayward individuals. In my generally cooperative and helpful spirit, I offer up a community service today by presenting a list of other topics these individuals can discuss besides me and Gary:
1. The weather. Always a good one.
2. Current events. With all the time some of these individuals spend plopped in front of a computer, popping over to cnn.com should not be too much of an inconvenience.
3. Favorite books. Since the Holy Bible is a chosen favorite, I’ll even recommend a few verses! Matthew 18:2-6; Matthew 18:10; Proverbs 22:6; Proverbs 24:17; Ephesians 4:32; and last but surely not least, Exodus 23.1!
4. The pros and cons of being a middle-aged loser mooching off of one’s elderly parents
5. The current phases of the moon, so they know the choicest nights to howl rabidly at it
6. Hockey! You knew I was going to suggest that. May I offer the tip that the Tampa Bay Lightning are not really worth discussing this season, unless you are seeking a good belly laugh.
There! That ought to get them started. Oh, I realize it might be quite arduous to wean oneself from prattling endlessly about such wild and crazy characters such as us, but with some practice, I have confidence they just might get the hang of it.