Reverse Mullet: Just Say No!

Kate Gosselin, the spotlight-obsessed reality show mother of 8, is most recently infamous for gleefully hopping on the poor-me, single-mom bandwagon despite her million-dollar home and tireless team of nannies, chef, housekeeper, bodyguard, and other personal assistants. Shameless self-promotion and wielding the children for photo ops are not the only presumptuous tricks up her sleeve, however; she also shat upon us the unnecessary resurrection of the bizarre hairdo known as the “reverse mullet”.

It goes without saying that any hairstyle with the word “mullet” is one best avoided. Perhaps you recall one of the first incarnations of this hair-don’t, worn by Flock of Seagulls front man, Mike Score:

The meticulous methodology for creating this hair-don’t appears to be haphazardly wielding a dull hedge trimmer closer to the scalp in the back than in the front, leaving inexplicable chunks of hair dangling over the face on either side like wooly mammoth tusks, and preferably topping the entire mess with a generous dousing of bleach and black dye until one’s head appears to have been precariously close to an exploding white trash hair salon.

Voila! Instant ass!

I chalk this trend up to the same mindless “well, everyone else is doing it” lemming thought process that brought us smelly Crocs, fur-lined Ugg boots worn with shorts, and the proverbial children jumping off of bridges simply because their friends did it. No matter how silly, absurd, or downright unattractive, many women feel the pull to the ugly side and request a haircut made popular by adult versions of Tiger Beat celebrity magazines.

Nothing says “I don’t think for myself” quite like stealing a horrid haircut from a media whore. Have mercy already! It may be your head, but the rest of us are the innocent bystanders forced to look at it.

Advertisements

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in bad hair, bad haircuts, trendy crap. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Reverse Mullet: Just Say No!

  1. I always thought I was the only one who hated Kate Gosselin's hair. How can you look in the mirror and think that looks good? I can't stand her anyway… πŸ™‚

  2. Smirking Cat says:

    I don't understand falling under the delusion that it looks good either.

  3. The Flock of Seagulls 'do actually looks better than hers.

  4. I hate her hair-do! WHY?!WHY?!? My girlfriend got her hair cut like that, HORRIBLE!

  5. phairhead says:

    and now she has those horrible extentions!

  6. I mean I understand with that many kids you can't have much time to do your hair but I have always thought there had to be a better solution! I mean seriously!

    Its amazing how money and hired help is helping her look better these days, only if we could all live that life!

  7. Smirking Cat says:

    To have that many kids, yet take an obscene amount of time to fuss over her hair, trivializes the kids and makes me question her priorities.

  8. yea.. never really got the fascination and obsession with her hair.. AT ALL

  9. EXCUSE ME, but there was a time not all that long ago when *I* had a mullet….

    I was in denial – I'd had hair halfway to my ass since I was sixteen and didn't want to get rid of it – still, I figured it needed some trimming and updating, so I compromised: I cut and layered the top and left the back long.

    The woman who cuts my hair gradually talked me out of it…..

    Still, in all, I agree with your post. Hairdos of the '80s should have been LEFT in the '80s.

    (BTW the best form of immunity from media whores is to….not watch them πŸ˜‰ )

  10. I must take a moment to defend the haircut that I myself am sporting…although I have to say that I DO NOT SPIKE IT, I do not gel it, and I..well, I think it looks damn good. lol

    My haircut is not as drastic as Kate Gosslin's…mine is more like this:
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_YvdWdCcXy80/SEbBN9PI9fI/AAAAAAAAAQw/SvGU0nTRbCo/s320/100_0476.JPG

    Except I don't do that funky spike-gel-mousse crap that everyone seems to love so much.

    I have a TON of stick-straight hair and it just looks crappier the longer it gets. I love my reverse mullet…if that's what you want to call it…although I would never in a million years go as extreme as Kate Gosselin did.

    Sorry!!! 😦

  11. Smirking Cat says:

    Hey, Never Mom and Middle Aged Guy, admitting your mullets is the first step… Just kidding. πŸ™‚

Don't be shy! Tell me how great I am. Or not. Share your feelings with the group.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s