In honor of Administrative Professionals Day (today, by the way, in case you need to trot by the card section and grab flowers on your lunch break or risk having your phone messages tossed into recycling), here is a joke I heard years ago and loved:
Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity.
“You are all part of our team now,” said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any employees.”
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard and I’m satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company’s performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”
The cannibals all innocently shook their heads, “No.”
After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals hissed to the others, “Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?”
A hand rose hesitantly.
“You fool!” the leader cried. “For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NOOOOOO, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something.”