Earth Day, Birthday, and Bitch-Free Day

Feeling festive? You should be! Not only is today Earth Day, it is also my birthday, making me another year wiser, even more clever, and still bossed around shamelessly by my cats. Have a drink on me to celebrate! Never mind it’s barely 9 AM. It’s only a sign of a drinking problem if you do it every day.

In honor of my birthday, by the powers vested in me, I have officially declared today Bitch-Free Day, because everyone with the misfortune of dealing with a rampantly misfiring and neurotic bedlamite (word of the day; look it up) deserves at least one day without the incessant whining, hissing, complaining, and boo-hooing of a jealous and petty cretin.

Sent me or Gary a bitchy email lately? Sit on it and fester, nutcase. We won’t be getting to it today.

Even if today is not your birthday, surely there is some nerve-grating jackass you would prefer to simply not listen to today. Well…don’t! Let them cry to your voice mail or email inbox today, and enjoy the peace. Their insanity will still be there tomorrow, I assure you.

There…my little birthday/Earth Day/Bitch-Free Day gift from moi to you!

I woke up this morning to a Happy Birthday song from Gary, rare snuggles and purrs from my hellcat Sylvester, and strolled into work this morning to find red roses on my desk. I think I will call it a day and head back home…eh, except for that overflowing in-box at the corner of my desk…what if I accidentally on purpose dumped my in-box into my recycling box?

*No Bitching image courtesy of Jane Rosemont’s PhotoBLOGraphy*

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in birthday, Earth Day, ignoring bitchy emails. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Earth Day, Birthday, and Bitch-Free Day

  1. Amy says:

    Happy birthday to you my friend!

    I hope you have a most wonderful birthday and a wonderful new year. And may the crazy witch in your life get a brain in this new year and stop using those most wonderful kids as pawns and allow them to just love their daddy like the hero he is.


  2. JaNae says:

    Happy birthday! Cheers to a bitch-free day!!

  3. Happy Birthday to you and Cheers!!

  4. Katy says:

    Happy Birthday!! I hope it's wonderful!

  5. phairhead says:

    Happy bitchless, bday!

  6. Smirking Cat says:

    “Happy bitchless birthday” would make a kick-ass Hallmark card.

  7. Happy earthbirthday! I hope you have a great one and that the lack of bitching lightens your spirit:)

  8. Crys says:

    Happy Happy Birthday!! I would totally have a drink for you, but I cannot. So I shall instead have a See's candy or even some ice cream. Maybe I'll splurge and do a caramel hot cocoa. You're worth it! 🙂

  9. Pam says:

    I missed it yesterday, but what the heck, keep celebrating!!

    Happy Birthday!

  10. Smirking Cat says:

    Hi Pam, I kept celebrating today! My boss took me to a nearly 3-hour lunch, and I got more flowers today too. It's been a great birthday.

  11. Syn says:

    Hope you enjoyed your day! You share the day with my now nine year old daughter:)

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