What an Asshole

It’s not exactly unusual for my blood pressure to rise while watching the news, but a story that Gary and I watched over the weekend made me literally see red with fury.

The abbreviated rundown: a woman, Abbie Dorn, gave birth to triplets in 2006. The doctor lacerated her uterus and failed to notice until the next day, after Abbie’s heart had stopped for 20 minutes, leaving her with brain damage and unable to walk or speak.

The response of her husband, Dan Dorn, was to divorce her in 2008 and refuse to let her see their three children. Last week, a judge ruled that Abbie’s parents, who are her legal guardians, may pursue visitation rights on her behalf.

Granted, the news stories have not presented Dan’s side of the story or offered any quotes from him. I find it hard to believe, however, that anything he has to say would color him in any more favorable a light. He chose to cut and run after his wife suffered a brain injury giving birth to their children, then chose to simplify his life by refusing to allow the children to know their mother because supposedly it is better for the kids to not see her in a “vegetative” state.

He does not consider Abbie to be in such a vegetative state, however, that she should not be paying him child support even though he refuses visitation, sliced her out of the children’s lives, and has already received a settlement for “an undisclosed amount”.

Let’s recap: she is not worthy to know the children she was injured giving birth to, but she should be forking over cash to the man who won’t let the kids know their mother simply because she was nearly killed in childbirth and has injuries from which she cannot recover.

What a fucking asshole.

This story hit me at a visceral level for many reasons. The ineptitude of her doctor, the callusness of her husband to walk away because she was injured, the too-frequent custodial parent attitude of playing God and deciding what is “best for the kids” based truly on what is best for themselves, the always-present demand for money, and sickeningly, maddeningly, infuriatingly…the absolute neglect of the children’s rights, wants, and feelings so that a selfish parent can have their courtroom soap opera drama and play the valiant child-protector as they fight truly for their own self-interests.

These 3 children have not seen their mother since 2008, and just recently a judge decided that hey, maybe we should take another look at this? How does the court and this sorry excuse for a father plan to make up for the years that have been robbed from the kids and their mother?

You can’t. I have seen that first-hand, and I have also seen the execrable legions surge forward to make sure what is best for the kids is never heard, seen, listened to, or paid a scrap of attention, as long as there is a self-indulgent parent present with a one-sided agenda they want played out and are willing to sacrifice the kids to get it.

I wonder how often the children will be truly and sincerely thought of in this court proceeding. If what I have seen already is any indication…not at all.

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in Abbie Dorn, custody, disability, selfish parents, triplets, visitation. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to What an Asshole

  1. furiousBall says:

    this doesn't make any sense. i would however like to hear the other side of this, but i can't imagine anything substantive is going to come up.

  2. Smirking Cat says:

    I would really like to suspend judgment until I hear his side of this…but I am hard-pressed to think of any satisfactory reasons a parent would refuse to allow the children to see the other parent because of an injury like this.

  3. Amy says:

    The courts don't think of the kids. Ever as far as I can tell. When we went to court and the kids voiced unease at being at my ex's house while he was dealing drugs, the judge told the kids to “call the police” if they saw their dad participating in illegal activities. Because he so would have let that happen right? The kids never had to deal with it because he never showed up for any of the visitation and then got busted for dealing cocaine to an undercover officer but I did wonder what the judge thought when it all showed up in the papers. Or if he even remembered the case. It's amazing that a convicted felon with drug and abuse charges can get court ordered visitation in one case yet in other cases, good parents are drug thru the system by insecure, vindictive, alienating fools.

  4. Positively infuriating….whatever his position may be, I am repulsed that he doesn't let the children see their mother. The divorce, well that's crappy, but children want to have the option to know their parents, good or bad, injured or not. Ugh. I'll be looking out for more on this case.

  5. Living life says:

    This is horrid, I am going to foolow up with this, people can be so disgusting. At this point I question why on earth he was even having children with this woman in the first place! It surely seems that he was lacking love for her all along! So sad, couldn't even imagine treating an animal this way much less a human! The babies should know what little of their Mother that they can. This mans karma in life is full of resentment from his children, I can tell you that much. Thank you for seeing the red and sharing SC…you always tell it how it is!

  6. Living life says:

    This is horrid, I am going to foolow up with this, people can be so disgusting. At this point I question why on earth he was even having children with this woman in the first place! It surely seems that he was lacking love for her all along! So sad, couldn't even imagine treating an animal this way much less a human! The babies should know what little of their Mother that they can. This mans karma in life is full of resentment from his children, I can tell you that much. Thank you for seeing the red and sharing SC…you always tell it how it is!

  7. oh wow.. just wow..

    what got me the most was him asking for child support.. un-freakin-believable….

  8. I saw this, and this man is such a slim ball. I guess maybe there is more to his side of the story than was reported, but basically what I read was that he was ready to move on with his life, and he doesn't think his kids should see their Mom in a vegatative state, even though she respond to yes and no questions and recognize people. It isn't like she has brain damage from doing drugs. And then this guy has the nerve to ask for child support from her estate. The money she got as a settlement from the hospital that pays for her therapy, and he wants to get his piece of the pie without sticking by his wife or letting her see her children.

  9. Smirking Cat says:

    The hearing is scheduled for May 13. I hope they have the rare family court judge who rules in favor of the kids instead of one of the parents.

  10. Pam says:

    The kids will benefit from seeing their mom, no matter her “state.” My kids' dad suffered a brain injury when they were 4 and 8. He is in a nursing home, and we drive 2 hours each way to visit him once a month. Even now at 9 and 13, it seems to make them feel better. Their dad may not remember they were there, but the kids know, and they still like to see him.
    My kids get some Social Security for their dad's disability, although most goes to the nursing home. I don't have a problem with Dan Dorn getting child support, as long as the kids get to see their mom also.

  11. Crys says:

    What a grade A asshole! She's in too vegatative a state to be a part of her kids lives but she can totally pay child support? Geez. I hope that karma shows him up.

  12. Technically the dad is asking for child support from her estate- she got (I think, might be wrong) around 8 million dollars in a settlement from the doctor who caused the brain damage. That money is what her parents use to fund her care.

    All the same, he needs to man up and take care of his kids. If he doesn't think she deserves to see her children, then he certainly doesn't need to be pursuing child support. If he withholds the children now and then tries to “re-introduce” them later, it will become a scary situation for them because it will be unfamiliar. If they socialize with her now and know nothing different as they grow up, then their bond with their mother will be something familiar and loving instead of something frightening for them. He's an ass, through and through.

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