The abbreviated rundown: a woman, Abbie Dorn, gave birth to triplets in 2006. The doctor lacerated her uterus and failed to notice until the next day, after Abbie’s heart had stopped for 20 minutes, leaving her with brain damage and unable to walk or speak.
The response of her husband, Dan Dorn, was to divorce her in 2008 and refuse to let her see their three children. Last week, a judge ruled that Abbie’s parents, who are her legal guardians, may pursue visitation rights on her behalf.
Granted, the news stories have not presented Dan’s side of the story or offered any quotes from him. I find it hard to believe, however, that anything he has to say would color him in any more favorable a light. He chose to cut and run after his wife suffered a brain injury giving birth to their children, then chose to simplify his life by refusing to allow the children to know their mother because supposedly it is better for the kids to not see her in a “vegetative” state.
He does not consider Abbie to be in such a vegetative state, however, that she should not be paying him child support even though he refuses visitation, sliced her out of the children’s lives, and has already received a settlement for “an undisclosed amount”.
Let’s recap: she is not worthy to know the children she was injured giving birth to, but she should be forking over cash to the man who won’t let the kids know their mother simply because she was nearly killed in childbirth and has injuries from which she cannot recover.
What a fucking asshole.
This story hit me at a visceral level for many reasons. The ineptitude of her doctor, the callusness of her husband to walk away because she was injured, the too-frequent custodial parent attitude of playing God and deciding what is “best for the kids” based truly on what is best for themselves, the always-present demand for money, and sickeningly, maddeningly, infuriatingly…the absolute neglect of the children’s rights, wants, and feelings so that a selfish parent can have their courtroom soap opera drama and play the valiant child-protector as they fight truly for their own self-interests.
These 3 children have not seen their mother since 2008, and just recently a judge decided that hey, maybe we should take another look at this? How does the court and this sorry excuse for a father plan to make up for the years that have been robbed from the kids and their mother?
You can’t. I have seen that first-hand, and I have also seen the execrable legions surge forward to make sure what is best for the kids is never heard, seen, listened to, or paid a scrap of attention, as long as there is a self-indulgent parent present with a one-sided agenda they want played out and are willing to sacrifice the kids to get it.
I wonder how often the children will be truly and sincerely thought of in this court proceeding. If what I have seen already is any indication…not at all.