There’s only one problem with Mother’s Day: the mother I have to shop for! This woman does not like flowers (here is a direct quote: “All they do is die”); does not wear rings, bracelets, or most other jewelry; is not particularly sentimental; and will not tell me when I have bestowed upon her a gift she is only going to use to prop up other reject gifts in the back of the closet.
Therefore, this year, I am giving Mama Smirking Cat an early gift: the official Hardest Person to Shop for Award!
As if enjoying me as one of her offspring is not delight enough, I have carefully hand-crafted her cyber-trophy (that glorious photo to the left of this post) and proudly present it to the woman most deserving of this title.
I started shopping for Mother’s Day sometime around, oh, the day after Mother’s Day last year, because I knew it would take at least that long. Each idea I had was put down: perfume? Just got her that for Christmas. Gift card? I’ve seen one too many unused gift cards floating around her house to fall for that. Flowers? Already covered that. Handbag? She already has 500 of those, and counting. Jewelry? It will just collect dust on her dresser top.
Exhausted, empty-handed, and frustrated, I even debated not sending a gift at all. What if I just colored her a picture? That worked when I was 5…
With just days to spare, I finally ordered her gift this morning. It’s actually something I would enjoy receiving myself, so there is some hope…however dim…that she might actually like her Mother’s Day present this year!