Fight Club and Monkey Poo

It’s become a joke between Gary and me that when things are going well for us, when we are happiest, the axe is just waiting to fall. Let us enjoy some peace together, and the next day there will be a nasty hate-gram from his ex’s lawyer practically chewing a hole through our mailbox. Let us laugh too much, enjoy each other too much, and voila, bitchy emails are piling up in his in-box. A good weekend with the kids? Presto, another motion filed at the courthouse to stuff an already overflowing case file!

It finally occurred to me: this is not coincidence at all.

It reminds me of the scene in the movie Fight Club, when Jared Leto’s good-looking character, Angel Face, is beaten beyond recognition, and the man who beat him says afterward, “I wanted to destroy something beautiful.”

Our happiness is a reminder to petty, childish, selfish, and most of all, jealous individuals that their scratching, clawing, and biting has failed to destroy us. Our happiness is a flipped middle finger to every lie told about us, every attempt to turn the kids against us, the absurdly lame attempts to turn us against each other that would be comical if they were not so insanely pathetic. When the kids display their affection for us, every elaborate storyboard constructed to portray us as horrible, worthless individuals crumples, and obviously this leaves the weavers of such tales thrashing in miserable fits.

The sieges that are launched in retaliation to our refusal to succumb to negativity and spitefulness end up having an opposite effect as desired. Gary and I lean on each other, help each other, wrap ourselves in each other even more to blot out the ugliness screaming at us outside the door. We long ago decided that if our relationship fails because we simply couldn’t make it happen, that is fine; but walking away from each other simply because of the jealous rages of others is not, and will never be, an option.

Lately we have been enjoying our time together, planning a trip with the kids, getting ready for the kids being home with us for a week for part of their summer vacation with us. When the bitchy emails started, when the “I told on you, nya nya nya” reports to this-or-that department started yet again, when the refusal to negotiate and work anything out like an adult kicked in yet again, I wasn’t surprised at all.

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the highly predictable howling and screeching of someone who, in effect, is saying: “If you are happy, it makes me angry. I am nothing, and I can’t stand that you are loved and in love, with a full life that has nothing to do with me. I can’t handle my feelings in an adult manner because I lack that depth of maturity, so I am going to hurl myself on the floor, scream, yell, and have a world-class temper tantrum to try to bring you down to my level.”

To be completely hollow inside, to have nothing to live for but sniffing out what someone else is doing in their personal lives, to have nothing to occupy one’s thoughts but the next crazy-ass attempt to score a hateful point against someone at any cost, is an empty, pitiful way to live. I don’t feel sorry for this individual, mind you, as it is a willful choice to live this way.

More regard for how such actions impact the kids would be nice, though.

The latest temper tantrum is in full swing! Anyone with pride or class would be mortified to show their ass so frequently, but when someone has nothing of any worth to fall back on, I suppose they are forced to rely on their vast stash of emotional decay, wildly flinging poo like an irrate monkey at the zoo, until something sticks.

By the way, if you have ever wondered why monkeys fling poo when they are mad, wonder no longer! According to WikiAnswers, the monkey uses feces as a readily-available weapon with which to annoy or threaten.

And that, my friends, sound very familar, doesn’t it?

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in crazy ex, emotional immaturity, jealousy, love, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Fight Club and Monkey Poo

  1. Amy says:

    So very sorry that this individual has such a pathetic life that she has nothing better to do than to try and screw with yours.

    Even more glad that you and Gary don't let such childish tantrums interfere in your life!

    Hope you enjoy your week with the kids!

  2. Syn says:

    Yes!! I think when a bitter ex tries to tear apart a relationship, if the couples don't stand together, they fall apart. My husband told me before his ex was trying to break us up with all her lies, etc. All her hostile action had the exact opposite than what she intended, we got closer. We supported each other instead of tearing each other down. Honestly, I think that is the only way you can make it through those bitter years intact.

  3. MaMaNae says:

    WOW, hit the nail right on the head. Repeatedly. It is basically a no win situation. Because these psychos cannot see that it is THEY who are hurting the kids, and THEIR behavior that is reprehensible and out of line. And the sad part is that severe parental alienation does work on the kids… and Dad is always the “bad guy”.

  4. Smirking Cat says:

    To say that they don't see they are hurting the kids is giving them far too much credit. It isn't that they don't know. It's that they don't care. The kids are not people to them, so why would they worry about an inanimate object's feelings?

  5. I'm with Syn on this, absolutely. If my hubby's ex-wife had just left us alone in the first year of our relationship, we never would have made it. It was her interference and badgering that made us determined to stick with it- and lo and behold, we discovered that we make a pretty good team. So I have the ex to thank for forcing me to see beyond hubby's emotional scarring to the wonderful man he has become.

    I also agree that psycho exes simply don't care if they hurt the children. They only think of themselves and have absolute faith that their mere presence in the kids' lives is the ultimate cure for any damage their actions may inflict.

  6. JaNae says:

    To quote Mr M, “I'm not happy until you're not happy.” These kids deserve someone who actually cares about them, not someone who is more concerned with how to used them as pawns in some sick game. It makes me very cranky.

  7. Crys says:

    How frustrating. Maybe she should join a sports team to get some of that anger out in a more constructive manner where the kids aren't being toyed with and you and Gary don't have to deal with it. Like lacrosse … I've heard lacrosse is fabulous.

  8. Smirking Cat says:

    It's anger toward herself that she projects onto us. No one has done a thing to her. She has to justify her shameful behavior somehow, so she makes things up.

  9. stepmumoftheyear says:

    Yep – we get this ALL THE TIME.

    Just the other day, an innocuous set of text messages ended in court threats because my partner shared that we had been having a good time with the boys… too much for the ex to handle, apparently.

  10. Living life says:

    I adore this post. I can relate to all its entirety and you always make me feel as though I am not alone in this great big Step Mother world! For this SM, I am forever grateful. As Dory from Finding Nemo quotes ' Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!” Keep on keep it on girl! x

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