Trust of a Child

“The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.” ~ Stephen King

There are simple moments when one of the kids reaches for my hand, or settles into my lap, or asks me a question and then waits for my answer, face turned up to me expectantly, that I feel my heart suddenly break at their unquestioning trust…their absolute, unwavering belief that because I love them, I won’t hurt them.

I know their trust has been defecated upon by others in their lives who greedily twist and use that trust, who take something so beautiful and foul it obscenely. To knowingly, repeatedly, lie to a child is a shameful act of cowardice and abuse.

The question “Why does she lie to me?” is painful to hear, yet also infuriating. It is not a question I should have to try to answer. How do I explain why someone they love and trust has deliberately hurt them, over and over, and has gone to great lengths to continue to do so?

How do you teach a child to be honest and truthful when they are bombarded with daily examples of someone who lies to them, lies about them, and even worse, demands that they lie for her? Immersed in ugly lies and vehement denials of reality, how do they ever learn what is real, what is right, and above all, how to keep their hearts from absorbing the fetid, decayed seepage of someone else’s rotted heart?

“The only thing worse than a liar, is a liar that’s also a hypocrite!” ~ Tennessee Williams

*I Wish People Wouldn’t Lie image courtesy of Cody Moore on Waking Illustration*

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in alienating parents suck, child abuse, liars, parents who lie to kids, shitty parents. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Trust of a Child

  1. Sharon says:

    Wow. That's a hardcore question for a child to be asking. It signifies some truth rising to the surface, which can be emotionally difficult for the kids to sort out in their minds.

    I think I would have said, “I don't know” to avoid trash-talking the mom. But it would have been VERY tempting to say more, and probably quite age-inappropriate for your fantastic four.

  2. Amy says:

    I don't envy you trying to explain someone else's lies. My kids counselor told me that the best thing I could do was to be honest with my kids in every aspect. That I shouldn't try to cover up for my ex's lies and mistakes because all that would do is ruin my credibility with the kids. The counselor told me not to make excuses for him. I used to spend a lot of time telling the kids that I didn't know why he did what he did. It was about the only thing that I could say that didn't either make a liar out of me or where I was bashing their dad.

  3. Crys says:

    I've often had to go back to the root of “People make their own choices” and that “Your choices are important and can effect people too.” I don't even think there is a good way to try and answer for the wrongdoings of others.

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