This past weekend, Gary was presented with a Barbie doll by Sunflower and the irresistable invitation, “Will you play with me, Daddy?” Soon Gary was on the bedroom floor surrounded by Barbie dolls, Barbie clothes, and all four kids, who contributed the random Dora the Explorer, G.I. Joe, or superhero action figures.
Gary’s Barbie adopted a Jersey accent, a bad attitude, and a penchant for trash-talking that rivalled any WWE wrestler. I was curled up on the sofa reading, but I found myself putting down my book, stifling laughter, to listen to Gary’s high-pitched Barbie voice and the kids’ shrieks of laughter, which only egged him on to louder and more outlandish behavior.
Every now and then, Sunflower’s Barbie, who was apparently a strict yet frustrated school teacher, would reprimand Gary’s Barbie with a you’re-about-to-get-a-paddling voice. This was typically followed by a shrill, protesting outburst from Gary’s Barbie, and then fresh rounds of giggling from the kids.
When Gary switched to Ken, however, I couldn’t resist sneaking to the bedroom door to watch the action. Ken is decked out in a silvery suit like a prom king, yet in Gary’s hands, he morphed into Don Vito Ken-leone, Godfather-style, strutting around bragging about keeping the cannoli. I put a finger to my lips to signal “shhhhh” to the kids, then caught a few minutes of Gary’s performance on the video camera of my phone. Maybe I will upload it here, or simply save it for blackmail material later.
When I made my presence known by questioning Ken-leone’s true gangster credentials, Ken-leone started to give me a good telling-off but was interrupted by a high-maintenance and bossy Barbie, powered by Sunflower, who dragged him off, protesting, for a kiss and to go on a date.
Ken-leone’s gangster status was thus forever discredited. The End.