Amen

Last night, Gary and I found ourselves being lectured to by preachers in Hickville.  How did we end up in such a fortuitous position?  We were there to watch the three oldest kids in their church musical, then to see Dove’s pre-school graduation, which was also held in a church (gotta start brainwashing them young so it sticks).

The fact that so much of the kids’ activities revolve around church is nauseating.  There is a massive difference between (a) genuinely teaching children to be good people and (b) teaching kids that lying, cheating, and being general assholes is okay as long as you plop your ass into a church pew a few times a week like Crow (their egg donr) and her parents and put on a show of being decent people.  The kids’ Hickville “role models” teach them plenty of hypocricy all on their own.  They don’t need reinforcements from the church or anywhere else.

Before Dove’s pre-school graduation, the opportunity of having a captive audience was not missed, and of course we were preached to yet again.  I flipped through a hymnal and held Bear’s hand during the endless rambling, but part of it caught my ears: the preacher said that you can’t teach children not to lie, if you lie all the time yourself.  I couldn’t help looking dead at Crow and laughing out loud.

Not that it matters.  She is well aware she is a liar, and she is well aware that she hurts the kids.  She simply doesn’t care.  So I am sure the preacher’s words dripped right off her wrinkly back, with no impact at all, since her broad ass spreading across that pew was all just a performance anyway: a performance of the dutiful daughter so her parents keep paying her bills, the doting single mommy so the general public keeps clicking its tongue in sympathy, the upright Christian so her abuse of the children remains in shadows by those too ignorant to open their eyes.

Church is a great place for liars to hide, and Crow and her parents flock to it, bowing their heads and pretending the lying, stealing (literally, in Little Miss Felony’s case), and rampant vulgarities of their daily lives don’t exist so long as they fold their hands, utter a few amen’s, and toss enough nickels into the collection basket.

Unfortunately, for the children it exists every day, every moment of their lives, and they are drowning in the fecid poison of their mother’s poor choices, selfishness, and immaturity.  Watching the hypocritical performances of Crow and her parents last night left me wondering how the kids are even still standing.  They are confused, angry, scared, and have no idea what is real, right, wrong, up, or down anymore.  They are lied to, told to lie, get in trouble for not lying enough.  They are encouraged by their father and me to stand up for what is right, then told by their own mother that the truth is whatever she says it is. They are put down so they continually doubt themselves and never stand up on their own two feet.

Crow won’t be happy until the children are as pathetic and void of integrity as she is.  Why dragging your own children down and clawing them to pieces is so much fun is beyond me.  I hold onto hope that the kids will rise above the obstacles their mother slings in front of them.  But I long ago let go of hope that their mother will ever rise above the ground-slithering level where she chooses to be.  She has wallowed in her own filth a long time and thoroughly enjoys it.

Maybe, while clutching her hooves together in fake prayer last night, she actually prayed for help being a better mother, a better person, a better parent.

But….I sincerely doubt it.

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in bad mothers, church, compulsive lying, hypocrites, poisonous parents. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Amen

  1. Amy says:

    Don't hold your breath hoping for change in that direction. Smurf isn't your color ; )

  2. Smirking Cat says:

    Oh, I'm not! Ala shows no desire or ambition to improve herself. It is sad that the kids see her level of malfunctioning as normal.

  3. lamadrastra says:

    Ghastly. (I'm starting to feel like I'm abusing that word a bit in my comments on your blog, but it's just so damned fitting.)

    May a large meteor fall from the sky onto that woman's car one day.

  4. Smirking Cat says:

    Lamadrastra, all that would result in is her daddy buying her a brand new car…then her turning around and telling everyone how she paid for it all by herself.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I've been reading your blog, off-and-on again, for a few years. What sticks out for me when I read it is not your clever ways to degrade the mother of your boyfriend's children but that you are still doing it years later knowing the woman reads this blog. It's intentionally inflammatory.

    While I understand you think she's a victim of her own behavior (continuously reading it) and don't think you should modify your own behavior, perhaps you should. You are intentionally and willfully antagonizing and perpetuating the ongoing conflict with your cyber hostility.

    I'm sure you will not recognize your own misconduct, much less participation, in this “war” that seems to be ongoing between you two because I don't think you are at a place you are capable of seeing how you contribute.

    Glaring at her in church? Writing vicious and vitriol about her knowing she reads it on your blog? Do you really believe YOU have those kids' best interest in mind continuing to write as though you are talking directly to her?

    I don't find you any more credible than your target. I think it's rather pathetic you've resorted to internet bullying and alienation knowing full well it won't affect a positive change in the lives of the children you profess to love. In fact, I can't tell who is the bigger fool anymore: you or her.

  6. Smirking Cat says:

    It is difficult for me to take anonymous comments seriously, but all the same, I gave you your air time.

    You make several mistakes, the first being a very common mistake: assuming that reading my blog means you know more about the situation than you do.

    The second mistake is using a word as docile as “read” to describe Ala’s activity with my blog. She does not merely read it. She stalks it. She devours it. Her obsession with my blog is simply another symptom of her unnatural obsession with me and with Gary, which has culminated in her stalking me in person, driving by where I work, and taking pictures of our house…all activities the kids have witnessed or been forced to take part in.

    The third mistake you make is projecting onto me your own reasons for writing this comment. It is sad if you can only imagine writing with the intent of antagonizing.

    Ultimately, the most glaring mistake you make is assuming that if I simply didn’t write the truth, if I didn’t put into words the vicious behavior of Ala and her ongoing abuse of the children, oh, how much better off the kids would be! It is okay if she lies to them, uses them, manipulates them…if I only wouldn’t put it out there for the world to read. If I only wouldn’t write the truth. If I would only pretend she is a decent human being and say only glowing, wondrous things about a woman who brought children into the world she refuses to care about.

    Do I believe my blog is going to “affect a positive change in the lives of the children”, no matter what I write? How blissfully naive that concept is. Mothers like Ala are permitted to wear badges of honor for pushing a life from their uterus, no matter the abuse they subject the children to later. The children pay for the price, over and over.

    Stop pretending my blog is the root issue. Stop pretending that if I simply watered down or glossed over the truth, the kids’ lives would be better. The only one who can stop the abuse of the children is Ala, and she enjoys it too much to stop.

    You, just like Ala, have the free will and choice to either read my blog or not. You, just like Ala, continue to come back. And you want to speak to me about fools?

  7. Mister says:

    What's more glaring about so many of these types of anonymous comments is that they always fault you – the writer – the one who documents the disordered person's abhorrent behaviors – as the “evildoer.” It's never the perpetrator's fault. It is always the fault of the person who describes their experiences.

    It's YOUR fault that YOU can't control who comes here and reads your online journal. YOU'RE responsible for your psycho ex's behavior – not the psycho ex.

    It's called victim-blaming and all too often I find that when the perpetrator is a female, blaming the victim is okay. When the victim is a man/father in conjunction with their new partner – well then the psycho's behavior is justifiable, rationalized, excused ad nauseum.

  8. lamadrastra says:

    I'm inclined to rush to Smirky's defense, but it looks like it's covered already.

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