Ever since Wolverine, who is 12, discovered about a year ago that he is taller than me, short jokes fly rapidly and plentifully when the kids and Gary are with me. The three younger kids happily set aside the fact that they are still, for now, shorter than me, and they participate as heartily as if they towered over me.
When we got our new mattress, I had no idea it would lend itself to one of the biggest short jokes of all. With the pillow top, the new mattress makes our already-high bed well above waist-high for me…and quite challenging to get into! I have to sling one knee on top of the mattress, position my arms just right, and hop a few times on the other leg to gain momentum to catapult myself onto the bed.
As soon as the kids saw this, they nearly hurt themselves laughing, asking me to get out of bed and get back in so they could laugh some more. Gary grabbed me by the feet and hauled me out of bed, then gleefully called out, “Wait for it! Wait for it!” as I prepared to lunge-hop back into bed.
Dove watched as I struggled to climb into bed, and she generously offered, “You can use my stool if you want to.”
Of all the short-person nicknames that emerged this past weekend, “Short-zenneger” (spoken with an exaggerated Arnold accent) was clearly the favorite. This nickname emerged at dinner on Friday night, and I heard it all weekend.
When we dropped the kids off at the police station on Sunday evening, I was wearing sandals with a high wedge. When Wolverine hugged me good-bye, he made a startled face and said “Hey!” because suddenly I was taller than him again.
Thank you, high heels! I have found my new favorite shoes.