Last Minute Christmas Gifts for the Psycho on YOUR List

Only a few more days until Christmas!  Never fear, for I have scoured the Internet for some last-minute gift ideas sure to please the psycho (or someone who puts up with a psycho) on your list.

Since many of my readers must contend with their boyfriend’s or husband’s imbalanced and nuttier-than-a-fruitcake ex-wife, what better present for your beleaguered man than a t-shirt that says it all?:

Proclaim the truth with the official  “My Ex-Wife is Crazy!” t-shirt, a steal at only $20.  I guarantee it will get you noticed and will be a huge hit at your next court appearance.

To keep it fair, how about a shirt for the ladies?  If it’s an ex-husband who brings utmost joy to your life and thrusts a perpetual thorn into your side, try this on for size from CafePress:

For those of us who have been stalked, insulted, accused, lied about, harassed, lied to, stalked some more, and other countless joys just because we love our stepkids and don’t back down, there is nothing more fitting than the Fearless Stepmom shirt from CafePress:
I have described Hickville before, the in-bred capital of the world where Crow dragged the kids when she decided to become a permanent dependent.  As soon as I saw this messenger bag, I wanted to buy one for each citizen of Hickville!  Emblazoned with “If Daddy divorces Mommy, are they still brother and sister?”, it is the perfect find for the buck-toothed genetic cesspool inhabitant in your life:

Now, if you have $3,200 to blow, why not surprise your ex with the divorce ring from Spritzer & Furman, complete with a broken heart and diamonds to symbolize the demise of your relationship?

Honestly, I’m not sure why anyone would buy this, but just the fact that it exists, bizarre as it is, induced me to include it.  I would love to know how many of these actually get sold…and who buys them or wears them.  Would you?

Last but not least, I searched high and low, from the bottom of my heart, to find the perfect gift for Crow this year, something that expresses my true feelings, something that bespeaks the rawest emotion from the deepest part of my soul.  I discovered just the thing from Sears.com:

Alas, it only goes up to an XL…is that adequate room to accommodate her head up her daddy’s ass?
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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in Christmas, funny, gifts, what to buy the psycho bitch ex wife. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Last Minute Christmas Gifts for the Psycho on YOUR List

  1. Lucky13 says:

    Hilarious! Happy Xmas!

  2. Smirking Cat says:

    Thanks! I had fun putting this together 🙂

  3. lamadrastra says:

    Saw this piece and immediately thought of you. Not sure it'd make any difference to share it with the “crazy” in your life, but you never know…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-bishop/if-your-kids-could-make-t_b_1171554.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Caim%7Cdl13%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D123710

  4. Smirking Cat says:

    Lamadrastra, I read the list, and it made me sad. The children's womb-for-rent has broken every last rule a million times. It wouldn't matter what the kids asked her for, if she doesn't really care about them.

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