There comes a time in nearly everyone’s life when one must face the harsh truth, suck it up, and simply admit to stark reality: I have too much stuff for one house.
So Gary and I spent quality time recently constructing a storage shed in our backyard. And by “quality time”, I mean stressful, aggravating, drive-me-to-homicide time together through which, amazingly, our relationship managed to survive intact. (And by “Gary and I”, I mostly mean Gary.)
We chose the hottest, humidest, and most mosquito-infested weekend of the entire summer to embark upon our project. Despite enough bug spray to annihilate every living creature within 5 miles, I still got devoured by bloodthirsty mosquitoes and ended up with nearly every square inch of my flesh swelled up with red, itchy welts (sexy, eh?) Our construction project conversation consisted of Gary barking at me around nails held in his teeth, “Stop scratching” while I sneaked in a scratch when he wasn’t looking. If I escaped without contracting West Nile, it is a true miracle.
We sweat, scratched, and swore our way to a brand new storage shed, despite instructions written by a sadistic and illiterate jackass. Pieces of the shed nearly sailed into the neighbor’s yard as Gary’s frustration grew, and anyone in earshot picked up new and interesting strings of curse words in various clever arrangements. A new box of screws, power tools, and some gritted teeth wrapped up our project before the shed ended up set ablaze while we danced around it, chanting our revenge.
The kids helped us finish loading their bikes and other stray items into it this past weekend. Sunflower apparently hoped the shed would remain mostly empty and serve as a playhouse, and she sighed with disgust and said unhappily, “Well, I guess we’re just going to fill the entire shed” as Gary loaded items into it. The general and overall purpose of a storage shed was largely lost on her.
At least one of us is happy the shed is complete and filled, since my obsessive-compulsive desire to put things away is now indulged. As for Gary, after an entire weekend of wrestling with the shed and forcing it into submission, I am not quite certain he is on speaking terms with the new shed just yet.