Jail Break

downloadI have mentioned before, several times in fact, that the witless hick town the kids were dragged to after the divorce is little more than a glorified barnyard populated by inbred cattle tottering on two feet.  It is not a secret I hold nothing but contempt for the small minds and even smaller opportunities there for the kids.  But hey, as long as Crow is getting steady hand-outs from her enabling father, then the kids can just rot there, right?

Let me share something that illustrates, in some small way, why I hate that town with such passion and intensity.  Reading that town’s school board minutes recently, and trying my best to overlook the misspelled words and rampant poor grammar, I nearly spit out my drink when I discovered this gem tucked into the notes: a staff member of one of their preschools requested sick leave due to “in the line of duty” injuries she sustained while apprehending a child who was “escaping” from the “perimeter”.

I am not making this up.  I wish I was.

Yes, the school district used the word “escaping” about one of its students.  That is a word typically associated with jails and prisons.  Not toddlers.

Minutes are reviewed and approved before being published for the public.  That means several sets of eyes (and limited-capacity brains) read that statement and deemed it appropriate and unworthy of comment or correction that a preschool-aged child overpowered a staff member and was actively escaping when this staff person was forced to perform heroic maneuvers so complex and demanding that she ended up requiring five hours of medical attention.   And in-the-line-of-duty leave makes it sound like she tool a bullet for our country, not a scraped knee for losing and then chasing a 3-year-old and then tripping over herself.

*snort*  Okay, yes, I laughed when I read this.  It is both funny yet sad.  No one thought it was odd that a young child was attempting to escape in the first place?  I worked for several years in a preschool while I was in college, and I can’t recall the first attempted jail break.  When I told Gary about it, he joked that maybe the kid was running out of fear of being eaten, as the staff of this school lean heavily (no pun intended) toward the corpulent side.

We have been to the kids’ schools, and have unfortunately witnessed the gum-chomping, flip-flop-wearing so-called teachers waddling down the halls.  We have been instructed to give the kids coffee in the morning so they are easier to manage (this came from a first grade teacher), and we have sighed over misspelled words on signs hanging in the hallways.  We never witnessed a disgruntled child escaping the perimeter, however.  Guess we were there on the wrong day.

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in are you serious?, hick town, kids, school. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Jail Break

  1. Oh. My. Goodness.
    I just can’t even!

  2. Amy says:

    I can’t even imagine this. 😦

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