In the process of resurrecting my blog, in making updates and reading through old posts, I feel almost like I should change the name to The Mellowed-Out and Relatively Calm Cat. My posts are far less sarcastic rants and rage-filled diatribes, and more reflections of what I did that day, more…normal, ha ha.
It makes sense, though. I started this blog in the middle of a battlefield. Gary, the kids, and I were under constant attack, and my blog was a place to vent and release the frustration and hostility about the senselessness of all of the garbage exploding around me.
That doesn’t mean I don’t still get angry. And it doesn’t mean we are now living in blissful, conflict-free ecstasy. Crow, I have concluded, will always be a jealous, belligerent swine obsessed with our lives, flinging poo like a spoiled monkey in desperate attempts to demand attention. It’s not okay, but I had to learn that life goes on. There will always be drama, idiocy, theatrics, and madness when you have the joy of a bitter and incompetent womb-for-rent in your lives, and the happier Gary and I are, the crazier she gets.
It just means I have shifted my focus. My own life has risen to the forefront. Right now I am admittedly obsessed with the new house, and I have a feeling that novelty will not wear off for a long, long time. If my blog reads like an issue of Good Housekeeping, then so be it. This is where my mindset is for now. And I like it.
Just to amuse myself, I am sure I will toss in some random rants about something, and I will sound more like the old Smirking Cat. I seemed to have more readers when I was angry, which is a curious observation. Maybe it’s just because, as I’ve been told by Gary many times, I am quite humorous when I am mad. Maybe it’s because so many people related to that anger at the time, when so few people seem willing to call out a bad parent, especially a mother, for being exactly what she is: a vile and despicable piece of garbage.
Is there any point whatsoever to today’s blog post? Well, I am thankful for anyone who was there at the beginning and is still here. I hope new readers who came from my weight loss blog stick around and share the journey from here. And I am just grateful, in digging through past posts and reliving that vicious anger and the staggeringly painful days, that Gary and I hung in there to be able to experience the pride of our first home and knowing that our love is battle-tested and came out victoriously on top, still going strong.
That is my point today. I am just happy.