Random Rants

There are things that annoy me with mind-blowing intensity, that sometimes I can’t even completely explain why.  They just do.  They scratch ragged fingernails down my jagged nerves and simply must be stopped.  Now.

  1. Multiple exclamation points
    So-called adults revert to over-emotional and hopelessly immature adolescents, typically on facebook, and share creative genius with us such as “OMG!!!!!” or “Love it!!!!!”  Please, just stop.  Slap yourself, or I will do it for you.  Nothing makes someone appear less intelligent or more childish than a string of needless exclamation points.  (And, please note, they are always needless.)

yes-by-using-all-caps-and-multiple-exclamation-points-you-have-convinced-me-of-your-logic-and-maturity-no-one-ever-234ce

2. Carrying a gigantic purse on your elbow
I carry a purse every day. I manage to do it without lugging a purse as big as a body bag, draping it in the crook of my elbow, and bending my wrist just so until I achieve maximum snotty-and-pretentious status.

The-handbag-near-your-elbow-reflects-your-fashion-sense

Example of how to never your purse courtesy of stylecenter.info

The strap is made to sling conveniently over your shoulder, not dangle from your elbow.  I can fathom no logical reason to carry any purse on your elbow and then limpen your wrist.

3. Cowboy boots with shorts
I can’t even attach a picture to demonstrate this absurd fashion no, because just looking at photos of idiots wearing cowboy boots with shorts annoys me greatly.  I’m not a fan of cowboy boots, period, but pairing them with shorts is especially twittish.  I imagine these fluffheads fancy themselves starring in a #1 hit country music video, vapidly gushing, “I am sooooo country!”, yet I am quite sure few if any have the faintest concept what living in the country entails or means.  Plus, it simply looks stupid as hell.

4. Scarves.  In summer.
I get it, scarves are trendy right now, and most people flock mindlessly and lemming-like to whatever Cosmo commands them to wear.  I didn’t like scarves even when I endured harsh northern winters, but I ask you, why on earth do you need a thick tube of woolly fabric around your silly neck in the heat of summer?  Are you cold or are you hot?  Do you even know anymore, or do you need to refer to your latest copy of the most recent fashion magazine to be able to shake out an answer?

fir-flare-Summer-outfit-ideas-with-scarf

Horrible outfit courtesy of trends4girls.com (even the website name is annoying)

You may also take note of the large purse draped in her elbow (refer back to #2).

5. Extreme cut-off shorts
No picture for this one either, because (a) you already know exactly what I am talking about, and (b) I don’t want my blog to be flagged as containing adult material.  We all know you have an ass.  What is with the urgent, desperate attempt to flaunt your nearly-bare rear at random passers-by and practically shriek “Please look at my butt cheeks!” (Note that I only used one exclamation point there.  Refer back to #1.)

When people in extremely short shorts sit down in a restaurant, movie theater, car, park bench, or anywhere else, their already too-short shorts are going to ride up and therefore plant bare ass cheeks on the seat.  Think about that next time you sit down in public.

That’s only five, but believe me, I could go on.  And on.  Maybe there will be a part 2, then 3.  But for now, I want to know: what is on your list of random rants?

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
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11 Responses to Random Rants

  1. Lynn says:

    When people say “adulting.” Sorry, I hate it. Especially when said by people way, way past the age of 18.

  2. Mrs. O says:

    Okay, I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of #1 in the past and I’ve tried to stop doing it when I realized I was adding the extra punctuation; I think it’s symbolic of me really wanting to be slapping the person(s) I was exclaiming about. LOL My rant is about people who will say, “I hate that every time I buy something so-and-so immediately goes out and gets the exact same thing like she wants to be like me” and then in the next breath asks, “by the way, where did you get that [blouse, skirt, jacket, etc.] because I just have to have it”. Or they’ll say how their neighbor or friend is a gossip “always talking about everyone” and then they’ll proceed to talk all kinds of crap about that person. Drives me up the wall when people do that. Probably why I stay away from most people.

    • Every time I am listening to someone talk endlessly about someone else, I have to wonder what they say about me once my back is turned.

      • Mrs. O says:

        Oh, I know that if someone does that much talking about anyone else they are definitely talking about me behind my back. There’s no way they aren’t, even if they tell me “don’t worry, I’d never say anything bad about you” … and, yes, I’ve had someone tell me that. 😉

  3. I love extra exclamation points!!! But, that is literally how I speak – I speak with extra exclamation points – not even kidding! 🙂 Never thought about the purse one.. but all the rest I’m right there with ya! I even wrote a post about how much I hate scarves and can’t wait for that trend to die, and yes, those who wear cowboy boots with shorts are doing nothing but showing how clueless they are!!

  4. Amy says:

    I live in Texas. Everyone wears cowboy boots with everything here. And I do mean everything. Prom? Jeans, big belt buckle, pearl snap and cowboy boots. Of course, they’re just as likely to have to take care of the horses or have after prom in a cow pasture too. So they’re not a fashion statement here…. they’re a fact of life and everyone owns at least one pair. And when you’re burning out a pasture or brush and it’s 85 degrees, you wear shorts and then you put your boots on in case a rattler takes a bite at you or you have to kick a burning log back in the fire or stomp on some burning grass. LOL

    Have to agree with the rest of what you say. 🙂

    • I figured there are places and times that cowboy boots are necessary, but around here, near the beach, no pastures or ranches of any sort, I can’t fathom why women insist on wearing them with shorts. Going for an image, I suppose.

      • Amy says:

        yeah the fake wannabes just make me cringe. My Mothers Day picture of my kid was him mowing in cowboy boots and shorts. LOL They’re a lot better protection against snakes and fire ants than tennis shoes. Plus we were burning trees and brush and they don’t melt. But it was 86 degrees so he had shorts on. Welcome to Texas. Most of the girls at the rodeo will have on shorts and boots. It’s accepted wear around here. I guess not in Florida. Must be a Texan thing.

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