Squirrel Trauma

green-anole-lizard-fbThe other day, I was leisurely leaning against our sliding glass door, blissfully doing a whole lot of nothing, watching hyperactive squirrels run around our backyard like they were jacked up on crack.  Suddenly, a small green lizard fell seemingly from the sky and landed on the deck right outside the door, puffing up his red chest, mouth hanging open like he was hissing…at what?   I looked up dumbly, wondering where it came from, and swooping down came a bright red bird with a stocky little beak, attacking the lizard with a vengeance.

It took me a second to react.  I mean, did you know that birds eat lizards?  I sure didn’t.  I was still marveling about lizards raining from the bright, blue sky.  Then I shook my head and made myself focus.

I feed birds.  There is no shortage of food in our yard, from sunflower seeds to suet, so there was no excuse for this greedy bird to be harassing the lizard.  I tapped the glass to scare the bird, and it danced away from the lizard but came charging right back.  I tapped again.  Again with the electric slide move, only to come immediately back to the scared lizard.

Okay, this stubborn bird wasn’t getting the message.  I frowned and reached out to unlock the door, ready to burst from the house in full, blazing lizard protection mode…

…when a squirrel bounded up the steps to the deck, brushed right past the bully bird, grabbed the unsuspecting green lizard, and promptly bit its head right off.

I was stunned.  I froze.  Wait…not only do birds eat lizards, but squirrels do too?  Uh…head first?

My image of squirrels as annoying, pesky, bratty, but mostly cute and harmless animals was instantly demolished.  I watched this squirrel casually prop up on its fuzzy hind legs, holding the now headless lizard like a delicious ice cream cone, innocently looking around like a head-eating squirrel clutching its decapitated victim was the most normal sight in the world.

I am still a bit shell-shocked.  Maybe therapy will help.  Years and years of therapy.  All I know for sure, I will definitely be far more careful in our backyard from now on.  Now that the squirrels have tasted blood, they might be eager to move on to larger prey.

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About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in funny, sort of, shocked, squirrels. Bookmark the permalink.

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