Squirrel Trauma

green-anole-lizard-fbThe other day, I was leisurely leaning against our sliding glass door, blissfully doing a whole lot of nothing, watching hyperactive squirrels run around our backyard like they were jacked up on crack.  Suddenly, a small green lizard fell seemingly from the sky and landed on the deck right outside the door, puffing up his red chest, mouth hanging open like he was hissing…at what?   I looked up dumbly, wondering where it came from, and swooping down came a bright red bird with a stocky little beak, attacking the lizard with a vengeance.

It took me a second to react.  I mean, did you know that birds eat lizards?  I sure didn’t.  I was still marveling about lizards raining from the bright, blue sky.  Then I shook my head and made myself focus.

I feed birds.  There is no shortage of food in our yard, from sunflower seeds to suet, so there was no excuse for this greedy bird to be harassing the lizard.  I tapped the glass to scare the bird, and it danced away from the lizard but came charging right back.  I tapped again.  Again with the electric slide move, only to come immediately back to the scared lizard.

Okay, this stubborn bird wasn’t getting the message.  I frowned and reached out to unlock the door, ready to burst from the house in full, blazing lizard protection mode…

…when a squirrel bounded up the steps to the deck, brushed right past the bully bird, grabbed the unsuspecting green lizard, and promptly bit its head right off.

I was stunned.  I froze.  Wait…not only do birds eat lizards, but squirrels do too?  Uh…head first?

My image of squirrels as annoying, pesky, bratty, but mostly cute and harmless animals was instantly demolished.  I watched this squirrel casually prop up on its fuzzy hind legs, holding the now headless lizard like a delicious ice cream cone, innocently looking around like a head-eating squirrel clutching its decapitated victim was the most normal sight in the world.

I am still a bit shell-shocked.  Maybe therapy will help.  Years and years of therapy.  All I know for sure, I will definitely be far more careful in our backyard from now on.  Now that the squirrels have tasted blood, they might be eager to move on to larger prey.

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in funny, sort of, shocked, squirrels. Bookmark the permalink.

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