When I first met Gary, Crow had dragged the kids to live with her parents in what was supposed to be a temporary arrangement. Briefly living with someone to get back on your feet is one thing. Reverting back to a spoiled child and expecting your parents to pay all your bills and take care of your kids for you is quite another. Instead of working for a better life for herself and the kids, Crow stayed right there for the next seven years. Living with her parents in her 40’s somehow, astoundingly, did not embarrass her in the least. The ambition to stand on her own two feet is not strong in this one.
In fact, she would still be there if Hitler (my pet name for her father) hadn’t finally arranged a forced marriage between Crow and Uncle Fester, the only monosyllabic Cro-Magnon desperate enough to get hitched to a homely, dead-weight lunatic still living with the folks. But two losers came together and found love, and lived happily ever, the end, right?
Well, not so much. Turns out that just maybe, Gary is not the only man who would rather leap off a cliff into molten lava than stay married to Crow.
I’m not certain exactly what is happening, and to be honest I don’t care much except how it impacts the kids, but last night, we were asked to drop the kids off at Crow’s daddy’s house. Again.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s been just a few years since we dropped the kids off there. The kids are, of course, a good bit bigger now. Hell, Wolverine is 19 and I suppose not even a kid anymore.
But the stage, the setting, the plot, are all pretty much the same. Standing in that cluttered driveway again, I almost wanted to laugh. We’re back to this?
I personally couldn’t stand it. When I got divorced, I was still pretty young, barely 25. I got my own small apartment, hunted down a new job, and moved on to better things. You know…like an adult.
I cringe at the example being set for the kids by Crow, the girls especially. What is the message here? That females can’t take care of themselves? They have seen their mother living with her parents for most of their young lives. They have seen their mother let her parents pay her bills for her. They see her go to the church that her father tells her to go to, wear what her parents tell her to, follow orders like a well-trained dog. How are they supposed to respect someone who can’t take care of her own crap or make her own decisions?
I have never had any respect for Crow. I’m sure that is evident and goes without saying. Her behavior and her choices have defined her as selfish, immature, absolutely worthless. Forcing the kids back into this situation to please herself, to hold out her mooching hands for pay-outs from her daddy, is low even for her.
So much has changed since the last time we all stood in that driveway. Gary and I are married now, and we bought a home. Wolverine has graduated and is working. The other three kids are at least several feet taller, taking on new sports and different activities, learning new skills and talents, developing into their own unique identities.
All of that makes what hasn’t changed stand out even more, in stark contrast, glaring in its sadness, its stagnancy, its rot. All of us have changed, grown, moved on, advanced in some way, with one pitiable exception. One of us hasn’t advanced at all. One of hasn’t learned anything, developed anything new, moved forward even one shuffling step.
Crow has not, sadly, over ten years, gone anywhere at all.