Scarecrows and Straw Bales

You know those people who swoon over sun, live for the summer, can’t get enough of sand and heat, and get high on a mere whiff of coconut-scented sunscreen?  Well, I’m not one of them.

I have never cared for the summer.  Hot, sweaty, humid, sticky…what the hell is there to like?  I remember trying futilely as a kid to fall asleep when the temperatures soared, no air conditioning (my parents were obviously sadistic trolls for that), some useless oscillating fan doing nothing but blowing hot air around the room.  Know what else I remember? Solemnly and quite seriously vowing to never, ever live without air conditioning.

I love the fall.  I love the first hint of coolness in the air, leaves bursting into color, sweatshirt weather, football, hockey (of course), sipping hot tea, snuggling under a blanket on the couch with Gary, wrapping up cozily in the covers.

There are a few things about fall that I don’t like, though.  For starters, these fellows:

scare crows

Ugh, where to even begin?  These fake scarecrow people appear to be required yard decor starting roughly in September, and I think they are the ugliest, tackiest trash.  I get they are supposed to be fall-ish, farm-ish, cute-ish.  They fail miserably on all counts.  I picture rooster decor in this person’s kitchen, and text decals like “Live Love Laugh” on the living room wall. *shudder*

Inevitably, the ugly fake scarecrow people are paired with something else I don’t like about fall:

strawbale_2

Fake mini straw bales!  Because what is more festive than essentially grass clippings compressed into manufactured rectangles?  Make sure you sprawl a few fake scarecrow people across them, though.  It’s a federal law or something.

If you want to take the cake on annoying fall decor, though, rush out and snag yourself a “happy fall, y’all” sign!

d146777

Extra points for multiple, clashing fonts and tacky backgrounds like chevron stripes that make the damn thing hard to read, and if you really want to go for broke, make sure your sign has burlap on it somewhere.

There you go, pretty much the only things I don’t like about fall!  Summer, you have overstayed your welcome, as far as I’m concerned.  I will be glad to see you go, even if it means the scarecrows and straw bales are on their way.

About TheSmirkingCat

I am endlessly trying to make sense of a world that has completely and unapologetically lost its mind.
This entry was posted in annoying people, decorating, fall, ugly things. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Scarecrows and Straw Bales

  1. hahahahahahahaha – I have a Happy Fall Y’all sign!!! Sadly, it’s not on a chevron print, but came with a wood cut out of a tractor! I have a brass barrel next to the fire place that holds wood (for like the 3 fires we will have because it’s Texas and never gets that cold for that long!) and for Fall, I toss in totally fake fall leaves… because again, Texas, and we go from green trees to dead trees… we do not get the changing of the seasons, so I have some fake one that get tossed in the barrel with some pretty fall floral picks… and boyfriend decided that we needed a Happy Fall Y’all sign for the barrel! (and, to be honest, this year, I expect he will add a Merry Christmas Y’all somewhere to the house as well! 😀 )

  2. Fake leaves aren’t all that bad. 🙂 It’s the same way here, no real changing of the seasons, just stinking hot one day, a little cool for a while, then back to hot!

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