Cast of Characters

Who are these people I write about, anyway?  Say hello to my cast:

Sunflower: 17-year-old stepdaughter

Bear: 19-year-old stepson

Wolverine: 21-year-old stepson

Dove: 14-year-old stepdaughter

*Also Starring*: 

Gary: the kids’ dad; my best buddy and my husband

Smirking Cat: the charming, the witty, the irresistible…me!

…and other supporting actors, including:

Crow: the womb-for-rent BM, the jealous ex, and my stalker, affectionately nicknamed for her plethora of shriveled facial ravines caused by excessive frowning, pouting, bitching, whining, and kissing her daddy’s ass

Hitler: Crow’s mentally-imbalanced pedophile father, who pays her bills, bails her out when she steals things, and creepily enjoys her unnatural dependence upon him, even though she’s pushing 50

Snot: Crow’s adoptive mother, who is appropriately referred to as “Queen Bitch” by someone from Hickville, and who is in desperate need of surgical removal of the pole up her ass

Uncle Fester: the spineless, no-neck, obese weeble-wobble ordered by Hitler to marry Crow (but then eventually and wisely divorced her)

7 Responses to Cast of Characters

  1. Jessica says:

    haha.. this is awesome. Are those really your kids names or did you change them for protection?

  2. Oh, definitely nicknames! This situation and the ongoing insanity isn’t their fault, so I protect them. And Gary has nothing to hide, so I didn’t make up a nickname for him.

  3. Checking you out. I love cats and family drama. Fun times!

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